Operation: Jungle Lotus

Only So Much Time Left In This Crazy World

2005-12-09T17:21:00.000-05:00

Don't let the days of yo' life pass bye.

Draws fallin' like niggas in a drive-by.

I don't recall ever graduatin' at all
Sometimes I feel I'm just a disappointment to y'all
Every day I just lay around, then I can't be found
Always askin' "give me some," livin' life like a bum
Times is rough—my auntie got enough problems of her own
Nigga, you supposed to be grown
I agree, I try to be the man I'm 'posed to be
But negativity is all you seem to ever see
I admit I've done some dumb shit
And I'm probably gon' do some mo'
You shouldn't hold that against me, though
Why not? My music's all that I got
But sometime must we get tested for this to be manifested
I know you know but I'm gon say this to you, I
Get high but I don't get too high
So what's the limit 'posed to be?
That must be why you can't get yo' ass up out the bed before three
You need to git up, git out, cut that bullshit out
Ain't you sick and tired of havin' to do without?
Man, what up with all these questions?
You act as though you know somethin I don't—do you have any suggestions?
Cuz every job I get is cruel and demeanin'
Sick of takin' trash out and toilet bowl cleanin'
But I'm also sick and tired of strugglin'
I never ever thought I'd have resort to drug smugglin'
Naw, that ain't what I'm about
Cee-Lo will just continue travelin his route without any doubt
Or fear
I know the Lord ain't brought me this far so he could drop me off here
Did I make myself clear?

Technological difficulties. Power outages. Feline disasters. Flood. Thug motivation.

Butt in the meantime. . .

She's not worth anything until she tells you to get familiar. That's how you know it's real.

No one seems to be saying this, but the 50 Cent Story in GQ (yes, that one) is written with words the way things are written with words when you actually want people to read your words. Ms. Lisa DePaulo does the damned thing, tossing, repeating, positing, point-of-viewing, injecting, inflecting like fuuuccck. If she gets down horizontally half as good as she tells a story, she could get it. Twice on Sunday.

And, despite the questionable cover choice, I found the rest of the photos tres sexy.

Oh, please stop. I wet more gash before breakfast than you do all day. (Besides, if I were gay, he wouldn't be my type.)

(Still, there's a spot on my wall reserved for page 292. Weird twice over considering that, as a rule, I'm a fan of outerwear that does not require the killing of over three dozen animals per garment, on the average.)

Jennifer: That yoga seems to be doing wonders for your core strength. Holla black.

The story on the shady shenanigans of the Sinclair Broadcast Group makes me glad I don't rely on the MSM as my primary source of information. And not for the same reasons as the nerds. I just realize that it helps keep people incredibly stupid. Stupid enough to stay asleep, plugged in, drugged out, kcuffed up, dumbed down and asking for more.

Like, seriously, where's the kcuffiin' plane that hit the Pentagon?

And water still costs more than gas.

According to the latest, "Buh-Bye 2005" issue of Blender—not to be confused with a magazine that I would actually advocate that you read—I am not the only one who cannot resist the rock, rock-on pop awesomeness of Kelly Clarkson's "Since U Been Gone." I was beginning to worry about myself.

I actually participated in that in that purposeless Village Voice poll this year. But, please, don't confuse my insightful observation with your worthless opinion. It's better to let everyone think you to be a fool than to step to me and have it proven for your groupies to see.

I have about eight pages of handwritten thoughts regarding this film. Looking to get them up here sometime within the next seven days. (Hey, someone's gotta pay the bills around this britch. Get familiar.) At this point, all I will say is that the Tater Tot conspiracy is much deeper than we ever thought, scarier than you can imagine and quite possibly the illest shiite ever concocted by power hungry, two-faced clappers. I only wish I were joking when I say that this sockcuckler is involved—which is a good thing only if you're a greedy bastard, like to feast on fear and/or generally like to bet on evil.

There's a reason I'm reading more pop culture rags than usual. And there's a reason why I didn't answer your question. They're tied in together, like a black mafia family married to the mob, or something.

You nickels is still thinkin' like children.

P.S.—Anyone want a cat? No. Seriously.

[I'll call before I come. I won't just pop over out the blue.]

Open Your Face To Info You Ain’t Know

2005-12-01T19:05:00.000-05:00

Powder makes you hyper, reefer makes you calm, cigarettes give you cancer, woo-woos make you dumb.

You sellin’ me cancer on a stick.

When the scene unfolds
Young guhls thirteen years old
Expose themselves to any Tom, Dick and Hank
Got mo' stretch marks than these hoes hollerin’ they got rank
See, Sega ain’t in this New World Order
Them experimentin’ in Atlanta, Georgia
United Nations overseas
Trained assassins do search and seize
Ain’t knockin’ or askin’
Dem coming for niggas like me, po' white trash like they
Tricks like her: back in slavery
Concentration camps laced with gas pipelines
Infernos outdoors like they had back
When Adolf Hitler was living in 1945
Listen to me now, believe me later on
In the future
Look it up: where they say it?
In the Constitution that in the event of a race war places like
Operation: Heartbreak Hotel
Moments tell until air-tight vents seal off despair
Dem say expect no mercy
Fool, you should be my least worries
Gotta deal with W-2's, 1099's
Unmarked black helicopters swoop down
And try to put missiles in mines

Here we are trying to create the principles of democracy in Iraq. Every speech we give in that country is about democracy. And we're breaking all the first principles of democracy when we're doing it.

—A Senior Pentagon Official,
who likes his job
(and is scared of Donald Rumsfeld)

Who needs The Jazeera when you can plant your own stories in the Iraqi press? According to the Los Angeles Times, the boys at the plane-eating Pentagon have been steady getting their Ray Benzino on, passing off articles favorable to the US mission in Iraq as real journalism:

Though the articles are basically factual, they present only one side of events and omit information that might reflect poorly on the U.S. or Iraqi governments, officials said. Records and interviews indicate that the U.S. has paid Iraqi newspapers to run dozens of such articles, with headlines such as "Iraqis Insist on Living Despite Terrorism," since the effort began this year.

The operation is designed to mask any connection with the U.S. military. The Pentagon has a contract with a small Washington-based firm called Lincoln Group, which helps translate and place the stories. The Lincoln Group's Iraqi staff, or its subcontractors, sometimes pose as freelance reporters or advertising executives when they deliver the stories to Baghdad media outlets.

The military's effort to disseminate propaganda in the Iraqi media is taking place even as U.S. officials are pledging to promote democratic principles, political transparency and freedom of speech in a country emerging from decades of dictatorship and corruption.

It comes as the State Department is training Iraqi reporters in basic journalism skills and Western media ethics, including one workshop titled "The Role of Press in a Democratic Society."

The Times goes on to say that “[t]he arrangement with Lincoln Group is evidence of how far the Pentagon has moved to blur the traditional boundaries between military public affairs—the dissemination of factual information to the media—and psychological and information operations, which use propaganda and sometimes misleading information to advance the objectives of a military campaign.”

This should come as no surprise as the Bushies do this type of thing on a regular. I even hear that they tried to give the plan to privatize the Social Security system Five Mics.

[Kickin’ that same Southern slang, looking for love off in your jaw, hoe.]

Harder Than A Ni99a Tryin’ To Impress God

2005-11-30T23:21:00.000-05:00

Trust me, niggas do feel the way I felt when I wrote this.

That’s why some are found floating face down in the mainstream.

I'm hearin' rumors about what yo' clique gon' do
I stepped up like it was cool and confronted his crew
An’ said, "Now which one of y'all is supposed to take me to school?
If you see a lame nigga, my nigga take his shoes”
I'm from East Point, Atlanta, an’ we don’t fight by rules
And you don’t know Cool Breeze or little Freddie Calhoun
In this place, the Dirty South, we'll hit ya for a lick
Sell you dreams, nice things, and it’da be a box of bricks
Plus the haters, imitators, think they know Cool Breeze
Ain’t jack but a rat on my East Point cheese
I know it irritates yo' ears, how I chop these trees
You nothin' but a lame 'round these EPV's
All my enemies who don't know what they jumped in
If the doctor came through once, he'll come through again
And when he looked and he asked me where everybody is
“They didn’t believe in your return, so they ran for the hills”
And I still got that same pain in my chest
My prescription: stress, no cess, and wear a Teflon vest
And these niggas still try and test
And don’t even know me or these Georgia plains
Boy, these grounds are holy

The great public secret, the gorilla in the room about Al Jazeera, is that it's not anti-American. It's not even anti-Bush. Bush has received over 500 hours of coverage on Al Jazeera. Bin Laden has received about five. Al Jazeera was the first Arabic network to interview Israeli officials, and they continue to do that. Condoleezza Rice has been on Al Jazeera numerous times. The fact is that Al Jazeera shows the true face of war. It's not that they're a mouthpiece for al-Qaeda. Some accuse it of being a mouthpiece for the Bush administration. It’s that they're practicing a form of journalism that, quite simply stated, is independent journalism.
—Jeremy Scahill, obviously a Communist

If you’re like most people (and I begrudgingly must include myself with you unwashed masses on this one), then you think that Al Jazeera is nothing more than the media arm of the Taliban, Al Qaeda, bad, bad Saddam and all guys who have problems with Tater Tots*; the jihadi network—a channel patronized by guys who overcharge for cigarettes in Oakland discount stores, but don’t (wink, wink) sell loosies in New York bodegas. But, you, like me, have been wrong before, and we’ll be wrong again: It would seem that Al Jazeera (Arabic for “The Jazeera”) is more than Bin Laden’s public relations firm.

The truth is, while Al Jazeera was started by a guy that can afford to fund his own news channel when he feels there isn’t anything better on TV (AJ is based in Qatar, a tiny peninsula off Saudi Arabia), it’s not necessarily the home of one-sided sockcuckling that is, say, Fox News. There is more, but I can’t quite tell you about it. Not because I’m under that limey gag order, but because I neglected to watch Control Room, a movie in which Donald Rumsfeld literally plays himself, when it came out last year (and I’d be damned if I were one to break copyright laws and track down a copy I would not have to pay for).

(Besides, pulling down Crash is eating up my bandwidth.)

At any inflation rate, Al Jazeera—whom George Bush allegedly ~~wanted~~ wants to wipe off the face of his whyte God’s blue and green Earth—is obviously not deserving of the treatment it has gotten. Its journalists have been murdered and arrested (sent to Abu Ghraib, of all places) by US forces; its offices have been bombed by the US—not once, not twice, but three times, in three different countries. Given this history, it really should come as no surprise that George Douche purportedly expressed his willingness to eradicate the Sand Ninja CNN the old fashioned way.

Now, if one were to go around putting the smack down on dissenting views just because they are dissenting, I can think of more than a few bloggers upon whom I’d unleash the hounds of Brooklyn. (And why not? These gentlemen have nothing better to do with their time. They await my orders. They beg me to send them out.) But this is not how civilized people act.

(Apropos of nothing, I would not cry one tear if Anne Coutler suffered the longest, most virile, excruciatingly painful case of Avian flu ever documented.)

According to The Guardian Unlimited:

At the heart of the accusation is the fundamental tension between journalists—largely Arab reporters catering for an Arab audience—who say they are anxious to cover the story from both sides, and a United States that regards reporting on some aspects of the insurgency as tantamount to collaboration with terrorism. None of which would matter much were into not for the ferocious tenacity and professionalism of Al Jazeera, factors which have made the station an international phenomenon.

Most gallingly for the US, its reporters have told a story that Washington either disagrees with or would rather remain untold: that the kind of war America is prosecuting in Iraq is messy and heavy handed; that civilians are too often the victims, and that the insurgents are not shadowy sinister figures but ordinary men with more support than politicians would like to acknowledge.

As a result Al Jazeera has seen itself under almost constant attack by a White House whose instinct has been to control the media since the war in Afghanistan. The US military has harassed its reporters. Its offices in Baghdad and Kabul have both been bombed by the US and reporters have been detained, threatened and abused.

And yet, people say that 50 Cent and ~~Murder~~ The Inc. are out of line.

Surely, we have our priorities straight.

According to confirmed Communist Jeremy Scahill:

What's interesting to note about this alleged remark that Bush made to Tony Blair, suggesting allegedly that he wanted to bomb Al Jazeera's headquarters in Doha, Qatar, is—and it's something that's being missed in a lot of the coverage—is the timeline of what was happening in April of 2004, when Bush allegedly made this remark to Tony Blair. It was during the original siege of Fallujah, April 4th, 5th, the United States laid siege to the city. Within a week, 600 Iraqis were dead, most of them women and children. Resistance was fierce, 30 Marines were killed. The United States hit a mosque, hit the minaret of a mosque and killed, reports say, a dozen people. And inside of the city, there was an Al Jazeera team that was uploading images to the world. And so, all of the images that were being seen globally were coming from Al Jazeera, whether you were watching CNN or the BBC.

If The Jazeera must go, I say we at least turn it into a community project. Stone them.

*The fact that “Tater Tots” doesn’t come up as misspelled in MS Word makes me realize that the conspiracy runs much deeper than I could ever have imagined.

[Think it is when it ain’t all peaches and cream.]

Don’t Pull The Thang Out, Unless You Plan To Bang

2005-11-30T02:27:00.000-05:00

We just can’t be amazed—even if you pulled the pin from your hand grenade.

Just like the hustler came back once, the clock is gon’ strike 12, again.

Look at the way you look at me, I see it on your face
All your hate emanates but you still hesitate
‘Cause you want inside of my head, but don't know how
To brainwash me to be a commercial clown
Fuck that, I see the way you work, see the way you smirk
I'm catching you where you work
God only knows as the trouble that grows Deep beneath my soul
dealing with you assholes
Can I blast those who point the finger at me
Who criticize and talk shit so freely?
Fuck Double-XL, you're a size too small
I should hire Eminem, so we can kill you all
Whether you live to talk shit about the Real
Then kiss my ass in person, how much you love the Hill
I'm the outcast comin’ to blaze the grass
Outlaw due to my life that's come to pass
Dre, pass me the glass of wine
So I can pour it over my homey’s grave then mine
For all those who fallen and answered when God was callin’
Jump in my ragtop and get all in
I'm the bomb, planted in your car, why you frozen?
Pop the tape in, ignite the explosion
The world is mine, the world is yours, the world is ours
The world was lost, the world was tossed

We know that Al Jazeera has a pattern of playing propaganda over and over and over again. What they do is when there's a bomb goes down, they grab some children and some women and pretend that the bomb hit the women and the children. And it seems to me, that it's up to all of us to try to tell the truth, to say what we know, to say what we don't know, and recognize that we're dealing with people that are perfectly willing to lie to the world to attempt to further their case. And to the extent people lie, ultimately, they are caught lying, and they lose their credibility. And one would think it wouldn't take very long for that to happen, dealing with people like this.
—Donald Rumsfeld,
accused babykiller and civilian torturer

Oh, stone me.

Apparently God—after creating sky and moon, man and woman, cheesesticks and buffalo wings—sat down and came up with a marketing plan for D4L, going as far as to co-author the hit single that is literally sweeping the nation. Quotha:

AllHipHop.com: Did you think “Laffy Taffy” would be the song that gave you national recognition?

Mook B: Yeah, because we knew God had something big planned for us. He led, we followed. We just needed to be patient. Quick and easy ain’t always the best way to get to where you want to be.

The apostle Mook B (not to be confused with Mook A or Mook C) went on to state that the “Laffy Taffy” crew is here to stay. “Since we put God first, we not even worried about that, one-hit-wonder junk,” said the chosen one. “How can we be a one-hit-wonder when we’ve crossed over to Pop?”

. . .Speaking of delusions, is anyone still listening to this year's “classic” albums by Little Brother, Bun B, Common and Lil’ Kim?

Okay, so maybe no one was calling Trill a "classic," but dudes was acting like it was the second coming of. . .

Well, I guess we'd have to agree that there was a first coming, wouldn't we?

Why is Bubba Sparxxx not on “Kryptonite”? (Or even in the video for that matter?)

Antwan: If the point of throwing those other guys that no one was paying any attention on that track was to get people to pay attention to those other guys (that no one's still not paying any attention to), here's a hint: It didn't work.

More: Bubba. Less: Guys no one is paying any attention to.

Now—besides being the latest ghostwritten, producer-driven subortion from a chick who can only score covers of ass magazines and “Sex Issues”—what the hell is The Glamorest Life?

I say we stone her. Such an affront to the English language should not go unpunished.

Why does a bottle of water cost just as much (if not more than) a bottle of soda?

Why does a gallon of water cost just as much (if not more than) a gallon of gas?

I don't make this shiite up. It just comes to me.

I demand answers.

Isn’t it funny how both George Bush and Tony Blair are choosing their responses to the “Did Bush really want to bomb newstation Al-Jazeera’s headquarters?”* question very, very carefully, as if they expect the memo to be leaked at any moment?

Florida rappers are edging out Atlanta rappers in the “Who can come up with the most ludicrous name? Contest,” but how long before Houston comes through with a sobriquet that puts “Squid Go Yam” to shame? (I have faith in you, H-Town. “Nofrsyde Nutt Monsta Gotti” is still up for grabs.)

Still, pound for pound, nobody is touching the extreme badness of Florida’s independent label game. Grenade Records? Sign Ya Self Records? Everybody else, fall back.

I’m very mad at Twista. His advertisements promised something along the lines of the game never being the same The Day After his album dropped. Yet, I look to the left, I look to the right, and, lo and behold: new day, same game.

I say we stone him.

*Of course, he did. Don’t be naïve.

[And we some homemade bombs, finna blow right up in yo’ face.]

I'm Like The Devil, Or Whatever

2005-11-28T06:24:00.000-05:00

I’m feeling better than ever. What’s wrong with you?

Playin’ these bitches is my favorite sport.

Now, you and your nigga shit shaky
And at the time your heart fell down and broke like achy-breaky
Lump in your throat, feel like a trachey
Oh dummy, the pain that's in your chest done made its way down to ya tummy
You wide open, you start smokin’ wit ya guhl
She nigga bashin sayin, “You don't need ‘im in your world
Niggas’ all dogs”
If niggas all dogs, then what you call broads?
Felines in heat, meowing for some yarn ball?”
Now you and her done got to drinkin’
Oh now it's really crunk, 'cause y'all silly drunk
And your girl done got to thinkin’
She talkin’ bout, "Girl, you look so beautiful"
You say, “Thank you,” being nice, you try to change the subject: “Want some beans and rice?”
But she's back at you like a pit
Mixed with a Chihuahua—how much meaner can you get?
Don't let her have her way with you, she's gonna have a fit
You're the candy apple of her eye and ‘bout to get bit
Here's what you do: you
Grab her by her neck, throw her on the wall
Say, "Bitch don't ever disrespect me, never, not at all"
These simple words can put a pause to half of the applause
Them blackball laws of balance at all cost

If you’re like me—and I assure you, you’re not—you’ve often asked yourself: “Self, with all of these Bible humping, crazy-ass clappers running around, how are you supposed to tell one insecure mental midget from the next?” This is not just a hypothetical question, either. Say two of them die on the same day and you only have enough saliva to spit on one grave, like which one deserves it more?

I still don’t have an answer to this, but the good folk at MoJo (as opposed to MoDo, who can always get it; twice on Sunday) have made it clear that these Reconstructionist idiots may well be the most phlegm-worthy of the bunch. To wit:

Reconstructionists aren’t shy about what exactly it is they are pursuing: “The long-term goal of Christians in politics should be to gain exclusive control over the franchise,” Gary North, a top Reconstruction theorist, wrote in his 1989 book, Political Polytheism: The Myth of Pluralism. “Those who refuse to submit publicly…must be denied citizenship.”

And:

The Old Testament—with its 600 or so Mosaic laws—is the inflexible guide for the society [fear-mongering, insecure leader Gary] DeMar and other Reconstructionists envision. Government posts would be reserved for the righteous, as long as they are male. There would be thousands of executions a year, with stoning a preferred method because it would turn the deaths into “community projects,” as movement theologian North has noted. Sinners in line for the death penalty would include women who commit adultery or lie about their virginity, blasphemers, witches, children who strike their parents, and gay men (lesbians, however, would be spared because no specific reference to them can be found in the Books of Moses). DeMar told me that among Reconstructionists he is considered something of a liberal, because he’d execute gays only if they were caught indulging in sodomy. “I’m happy to just drive them back into the closet,” he said.

I mean, aside from letting the tribades get a break (maybe Moses liked the idea of Moabite women slamming clams), the rest of that shiite seems a little, I don’t know, insecure. I mean, at one point, this teen says he wrote a paper for a school assignment, arguing that male clappers were superior to the rest of the non-fearing heathens on the face of the planet. Then the kid (who was only pushing the company line, mind you) gets screamed on by this DeMar fellow. Why? Because there was nothing to argue according to DeMar. Why not? Because—literally—God and the Bible.

Oh, stone me.

[I never said I was a gangsta, but I will do ya.]

Ni99as Don't Comprehend That It Be Deeper Than Cadillacs

2005-11-28T05:51:00.000-05:00

The good folk at The Nation have come up with a Dictionary of Republicanisms to help you understand just how stupid the Bush Administration thinks you are. Here are some choice definitions:

abstinence-only sex education: (n.) Ignorance-only sex education

alternative energy sources: (n.) New locations to drill for gas and oil

bankruptcy: (n.) A punishable crime when committed by poor people but not corporations

Cheney, Dick: (n.) The greater of two evils

China: (n.) See Wal-Mart

class warfare: (n.) Any attempt to raise the minimum wage

climate change: (n.) The blessed day when the blue states are swallowed by the oceans

compassionate conservatism: (n.) Poignant concern for the very wealthy

creationism: (n.) Pseudoscience that claims George W. Bush's resemblance to a chimpanzee is totally coincidental

DeLay, Tom: (n.) 1. Past tense of De Lie; 2. Patronage saint

democracy: (n.) A product so extensively exported that the domestic supply is depleted

faith: (n.) The stubborn belief that God approves of Republican moral values despite the preponderance of textual evidence to the contrary

God: (n.) Senior presidential adviser

honesty: (n.) Lies told in simple declarative sentences—e.g., "Freedom is on the march”

House of Representatives: (n.) Exclusive club; entry fee $1 million to $5 million (See Senate)

laziness: (n.) When the poor are not working

leisure time: (n.) When the wealthy are not working

No Child Left Behind: (riff.) 1. (v.) There are always jobs in the military; 2. (n.) The rapture

ownership society: (n.) A civilization where 1 percent of the population controls 90 percent of the wealth

Patriot Act: (n.) 1. The pre-emptive strike on American freedoms to prevent the terrorists from destroying them first; 2. The elimination of one of the reasons why they hate us

pro-life: (adj.) Valuing human life up until birth

Senate: (n.) Exclusive club; entry fee $10 million to $30 million

simplify: (v.) To cut the taxes of Republican donors

staying the course: (interj.) Slang. Saying and doing the same stupid thing over and over, regardless of the result

voter fraud: (n.) A significant minority turnout

Wal-Mart: (n.) The nation-state, future tense

woman: (n.) 1. Person who can be trusted to bear a child but can't be trusted to decide whether or not she wishes to have the child; 2. Person who must have all decisions regarding her reproductive functions made by men with whom she wouldn't want to have sex in the first place

I Hear That Mother Nature's Now On Birth Control

2005-11-28T05:32:00.000-05:00

Just because it's not on the news, doesn't mean it's all good in the NO:

The People’s Hurricane Relief Fund & Oversight Coalition: Organizing the people of NO so they may have a say in how their city is rebuilt, from dollars to donut shops.

Metro Equity: Collection of articles focused on the issues and the future.

Katrina In Action: "Real Relief. A Just Recovery. And Nothing Else."

New Orleans Independent Media Center: Because the mainstream media’s moved on to sexier stories.

If you were doing all that hand-wringing, finger-pointing and Katrina-clapping three months ago and you’re not down to take thirty seconds to send some emails to your congress folk telling them that it's not cool for them to continue doing the same two-faced shiite they always do. . . well, at least you’re not my problem.

Comin' Through Your Hood With A Sawed-Off Pump

2005-11-26T06:57:00.000-05:00

You got me bent like elbows (amongst other things), but I’m not worried.

That same motherfucker that took them knuckles to your eye.

Now, my oral illustration
Be like clitoral stimulation to the female gender
Ain't nuthin’ better
Let me know when it's wet enough to enter
If not I'll wait, because the future of the world depends on
If or if not the child we raise gon' have that nigger syndrome
Or will it know to do the arts regardless of its skintone?
Or will it feel that if in tune that it just might get picked on?
Or will it give a fuck about what others say and get gone?
The alienators, guess we different, keep your hands to the sky
Like Sounds of Blackness when I practice what I preach and don’t lie
I be the baker and the maker of the piece of my pie
Now breaker-breaker, 10-4 can I get some reply?

Simply stated, there is no doubt that Saddam Hussein now has weapons of mass destruction. There is no doubt he is amassing them to use against our friends, against our allies, and against us.

— Dick Cheney, August 2002

The indictment is not about a single aide. It is about an Administration that went to any length to “sell” the war in Iraq and mislead the public. Those responsible for this colossal foreign policy misdeed must be held accountable to the American public, to the Congress, and to the courts of law.

— (D) Rep. Dennis Kucinich, Ohio

Apparently, everyone is noticing that shiite with Bushies is getting so bad that Dick Cheney, a man known as much for raking in the dough from making sure that his unbridled fears becomes yours as well, has come out of his homo-proof hole in the ground to, well, generally take shiite from bad to worse.

The Chicago Tribune begins a recent story with:

Vice President Dick Cheney, known for his deft exercise of power in the shadows, has suddenly re-emerged as a caustic and combative defender of the administration's war policy, and in the process has taken center stage in the nation's painful, angry debate about Iraq.

His stern, unbending activism, once seen as an advantage, now is being questioned, even by some who were early proponents of the Iraq invasion.

(Read: Sauron’s back from Mordor, but, with the exception of the most loyal Urak-hai, even the orcs ain’t feeling him right about now.)

The Tribune story continues:

Larry Wilkerson, once chief of staff to former Secretary of State Colin Powell, said the vice president, along with Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, heads a cabal "of extreme nationalistic...and messianic" voices within the Bush administration.

"This is a very efficient cabal,'' Wilkerson said in an interview. "Unquestionably, this is the most unique aspect of this administration. [Cheney] is the most powerful vice president in the history of this country." The cabal, Wilkerson said, "cows'' military leaders and runs roughshod over bureaucrats.

Not to be left out, Salon begins its story with:

The hallmark of the Dick Cheney administration is its illegitimacy. Its essential method is bypassing established lines of authority; its goal is the concentration of unaccountable presidential power. When it matters, the regular operations of the CIA, Defense Department and State Department have been sidelined.

Richard Nixon is the model, but with modifications. In the Nixon administration, the president was the prime mover, present at the creation of his own options, attentive to detail, and conscious of their consequences. In the Cheney administration, the president is volatile but passive, firm but malleable, presiding but absent. Once his complicity has been arranged, a closely held "cabal"—as Lawrence Wilkerson, once chief of staff to former Secretary of State Colin Powell, calls it—wields control.

Within the White House, the office of the vice president is the strategic center. The National Security Council has been demoted to enabler and implementer. Systems of off-line operations have been laid to evade professional analysis and a responsible chain of command. Those who attempt to fulfill their duties in the old ways have been humiliated when necessary, fired, retired early or shunted aside. In their place, acolytes and careerists indistinguishable from true believers in their eagerness have been elevated.

(Translation: Saruman is nothing. The true power lies in Mordor.)

The must-read Salon polemic goes on to paint Cheney in pretty unflattering stripes, painting a scary portrait that we all knew existed: Dick Cheney is politically savvy as he is evil; calculated as he is defiant; a man to whom power and influence are paramount. But the piece is not wholly a character attack on the man who created the One Ring to rule all others. It offers such needed nuggets as:

Former Sen. Bob Graham has revealed, in a Nov. 20 article in the Washington Post, that the condensed version of the National Intelligence Estimate titled "Iraq's Weapons of Mass Destruction Programs" that was submitted to the Senate days before it voted on the Iraq war resolution "represented an unqualified case that Hussein possessed [WMD], avoided a discussion of whether he had the will to use them and omitted the dissenting opinions contained in the classified version." The condensed version also contained the falsehood that Saddam Hussein was seeking "weapons-grade fissile material from abroad."

(In the Graham piece linked above, Bobby states: “In February 2002, after a briefing on the status of the war in Afghanistan, the commanding officer, Gen. Tommy Franks, told me the war was being compromised as specialized personnel and equipment were being shifted from Afghanistan to prepare for the war in Iraq—a war more than a year away. Even at this early date, the White House was signaling that the threat posed by Saddam Hussein was of such urgency that it had priority over the crushing of al Qaeda.”)

From the Los Angeles Times opinion page comes Jihadist Iraq Just Won’t Happen, by former National Security Council member Daniel Benjamin, which begins:

From the people who brought you Saddam Hussein's mushroom cloud and the secret Iraqi-Al Qaeda alliance comes a new specter to trouble our sleep: jihadist Iraq.

In a speech this week at the American Enterprise Institute, Vice President Dick Cheney used this nightmare vision to lash those, such as Rep. John P. Murtha (D-Pa.), who have argued that it is time to begin withdrawing U.S. forces. "Iraq is part of a larger plan of imposing Islamic radicalism across the broader Middle East, making Iraq a terrorist haven and a staging ground for attacks against other nations," Cheney said. "In light of the commitments our country has made, and given the stated intentions of the enemy, those who advocate a sudden withdrawal from Iraq should answer a few simple questions: Would the United States and other free nations be better off or worse off with [Abu Musab] Zarqawi, [Osama] bin Laden and [Ayman] Zawahiri in control of Iraq? Would we be safer or less safe with Iraq ruled by men intent on the destruction of our country?"

The suggestion that a jihadist takeover in Iraq would follow a U.S. withdrawal verges on preposterous. It is the latest in a parade of straw men dispatched to scare up support for wrongheaded and failed policies.

There is no question that the jihadists would like to seize a country as a base for wider operations. But they have nowhere near the capacity to achieve this in Iraq. Zarqawi's Al Qaeda in Iraq and other radical Islamist groups have bloodied U.S. forces, the fledgling Iraqi government and the Shiite population. The jihadist organizations lack the heavy weapons and the manpower that would be required to seize control of Baghdad, to capture and hold large tracts of territory that are occupied by hostile Shiites and Kurds who outnumber Sunnis four to one, or to run the country.

The insurgents might remain a formidable force by evading those who tried to hunt them down—as they have done with U.S. and Iraqi forces—but they could not conceivably prevail in the full-scale battles that the takeover of Iraq would entail. Only with the rapid influx of tens of thousands of fighters from outside Iraq could jihadists win control of the country. That scenario is farfetched.

(In English: We don’t believe you. You need more people.)

Benjamin goes on to lay out a level-headed (but not totally rosy) outlook on Iraq, offering a clear riposte to the fear-mongering parries of the ~~Bush~~ Cheney Administration.

Lastly, the December issue of The Progressive, which features an illustration of Cheney as the Great Oz with a flying money pulling back the curtain, doesn’t really take Dick to task for much beyond his probable involvement with Plamegate. But it does state that:

The indictment of [I. Lewis “Scooter”] Libby marks the fall of one of the founding members of the tiny group that has hijacked U.S. foreign policy. In 1992, Libby, along with Paul Wolfowitz, while both were working for then-Defense Secretary Dick Cheney, came up with a draft Defense Policy Guidance document.

This draft was so hawkish that then-President George H.W. Bush demanded that it be withdrawn. But it sketched the outlines of his son’s policy. The document said it was imperative that the United States deter “potential competitors from even aspiring to a larger regional or global role,” and it endorsed a policy of “preemptive military intervention.” It scorned the United Nations, and it said the United States should use military power to protect access to vital raw materials, primarily Persian Gulf Oil.”

Libby was also one of the original twenty-five signatories to the statement of principles of the Project for the New American Century. . . .

The statement said, “We need to increase defense spending significantly if we are to carry out our global responsibilities.” And it talked about the need “to challenge regimes hostile to our interests and values.”

Libby also signed on to the September 2000 report of the Project for the New American Century, “Rebuilding America’s Defenses.” That’s the notorious document that mentions how difficult it would be to drastically increase Pentagon spending to act unilaterally “absent some catastrophic and catalyzing event—like a new Pearl Harbor.”

At any rate, you know shiite’s kcuffed up when the matter of possible treason in the White House and the indictment of a top governmental for perjury in relation to said possible treason is, like, not really a big deal in the scope of things.

************

Random things discovered while trying to find the video for Tony Yayo’s “I Know You Don’t Love Me” online:

“5’ 6” with a body like filet mignon.” This is said by Tango Redd, he of the O-Zone magazine paparazzi pages, on a song called “Let’s Cheat.” Surprisingly, anything resembling a comment eludes me.

Crime Mob have a song called “I’ll Beat Yo Ass,” or possibly some sanitized version of said threat. From what I can recall, the hook goes: “I’ll beat yo ass. I’ll beat yo ass. I’ll beat yo ass, my nigga. I’ll beat yo ass.” And I wonder why I’ve done my best to ignore these children.

Big Moe is unhealthily obese. Apparently he can’t even stand up in the video he shares with Mike Jones. (Who?) Mike Jones!

Mike Jones is so bad, he’s good. He’s like Juelz Santana without the timing, flow or energy. My God (which doesn’t really exist), I love this guy.

“They Don’t Know” is by Paul Wall feat. Mike Jones & Bun B, as opposed to Bun B feat. Mike Jones and Paul Wall, or Mike Jones feat. Bun B and Paul Wall. Maybe I caught the “They Don’t Know (Remix)” with Bun B and Mike Jones, or something. I take great solace in the fact that I don’t know.

Apparently, “Laffy Taffy” is put out by Ice Age Entertainment, which is either owned by Mike Jones, or 20th Century Fox is paying Jones to wear a ridiculously huge pendant which reads “Ice Age” in order to advertise their upcoming movie.

Please make that check out to Mike Jones.

Who?

Mike Jones!

(Is it just me, or is Ice Age 2’s trailer a meditation on Global Warming, how we’ve gotten here [shortsighted hunger] and how many of us are approaching the situation [plugging the leaks]?)

[Oh hell, there he go again—talkin’ that shit.]

The Heart of A Marksman Is Cold Like Minnesota

2005-11-24T05:50:00.000-05:00

Youngin’, You Can Learn

2005-11-23T04:47:00.000-05:00

I’m Magic with the pen, I’m Jordan in the booth, I’m Melo with flow, Lebron: I’m the truth.

Talk foul, get slapped in your mouth, pussy.

This ain’t nuttin’ but candy from a baby
I sell that shit, got ‘em stuck since the ‘80’s
Y’all ain’t even thinking ‘bout stickin’ the format
Y’all niggas tellin’ "Ooooo-ooooo!" like Horshack
Singing with the band with snares and hi-hats
And it ain’t slow us—no, we kept huntin’ for more crack
We ain’t holla back, nigga we holla Black
Card era, second comin’, takin’ you back
And it’s a known fact y’all tired of the circus
So come home where you smell the crack in the verses
The whole rap world watched the Clipse take a bow
We left it in your hands, you ain’t make father proud
None of y’all can copy, a hard act to follow
We was cursed with the spirit, the verses the stigmata
Suicide bomb ya like Mohamamed Atta
Or the doors on that Phantom—Re-Up: We rap martyrs, what?

The flaws in the intelligence are plain enough in hindsight, but any suggestion that prewar information was distorted, hyped or fabricated by the leader of the nation is utterly false. . . It is a lie to say that the President lied to the American people. American soldiers and marines serving in Iraq go out every day into some of the most dangerous and unpredictable conditions. Meanwhile, back in the United States, a few politicians are suggesting these brave Americans were sent into battle for a deliberate falsehood.

—Dick Cheney, accused liar, probable thief,
confirmed draft-dodger and all-around disreputable human being

So, a few weeks back, John Edwards, also known as the guy who reportedly took a possibly illegal L in the 2004 elections because John Kerry allegedly has the political balls of ant, claimed that he was played for a fool by the guys who said that that bad, bad Saddam was an immediate threat to the great American way of life which provides the world with such necessary fare as Laguna Beach, fish sticks and AssParade.com. Said the awakened sucker: “The intelligence was deeply flawed and, in some cases, manipulated to fit a political agenda.”

I’m not sure what’s on this dude’s mind. Governments never lie about going to war. No. They just hire PR firms, give them top-top-top security clearance and have them publicize a guy who claims that a bad, bad man has secret stockpiles of illegal weapons of mass destruction stashed all over a little country that happens to be sitting on top of a lot of oil. The fact that this publicized guy had already failed a CIA-administered lie detector test is just a minor detail. And that country has a lot of oil.

Besides, it’s not like there were ever, I don’t know, plans by the US military apparatus to, say, kill US citizens and blame Cuba in the early 60’s. Because if that really happened, we could simply look through all those declassified documents or just read someone who has to find out the truth.

But, let’s say—strictly for argument’s sake—that government officials have been proven to be fonts of self-serving deceit and greed. If, and only if, that were the case, I guess it would behoove us to listen up when information comes out about governmental misconduct that leads to things like sending young kids who just wanted to get in on some of that GI Bill action to die, kill and otherwise spread democracy. And, if said misconduct were to come to light, we (the people) would have to, you know, take steps to do the right thing, or maybe call for this great nation’s leaders to stop dropping bombs on people who really didn’t do shiite to this country in the first place. Especially if the evil phantom menace that the boys in tanks went over to that country to stop had been, like, in jail for a hot minute anyway.

Senator George McGovern, a critic of the Vietnam War, who got his ass kicked by Richard Nixon in the 1972 presidential election states: “That’s a good American doctrine, to be able to change your mind once you discover you are wrong. Since when is it considered cowardess or being pro-terrorist to say we were mistaken in going into Iraq?”

I guess the answer to that question, George, would be: “Ever since Bush and his fellow corporate heads of state decided to prey on the fears and paranoia of the American people.” Because, after all, when you talk about Dick and George, you're talking about guys who know all about war.

Representative John Murtha is some guy who got a bronze star and two purple hearts in Vietnam. You may recall (if you actually pay attention to things going on in the world beyond gossip and rap), that he recently said: “I like guys who've never been there who criticize us who've been there. I like that. I like guys who got five deferments and never been there and sent people to war and then don't like to hear suggestions that what may need to be done.”

This obvious swipe and the nation's top two (kinda, sorta) elected officials led to Citizen John being put into a group with the likes of Michael Moore, which really makes no sense because Murtha’s not significantly overweight, plus he shaves. Heck, if they really wanted to hurt the guy’s feelings, they should have just brought up his voting record. It’s obvious that he’s a communist. Maybe he was turned in Vietnam, or something.

[When I’m around, take it back to the house, pussy.]

Them Ni99as Deceive Ya

2005-11-22T14:41:00.000-05:00

Neither you, nor your man’s my caliber.

We don’t believe ya.

Vicious with the verse, I’m as genius as Ray
You niggas seein’ nothing on the Zenith, like Ray
Black hand, white keys, I seen this—I’m Ray
Got more white in the hood than the KKK
The Grand Wizard of that almighty blizzard
My numbers come sizzard, I be where they breedin’ lizards
Now nigga, go figure: I ain’t been out in two
Switched jewels twice, the upgrade was more blue
Now, if you got a question, nigga, save that for Clue
But if you know the answer, then you probably copped from dude
Fluish, bluish, the hues is the newest
The sickest shit, the chain is so gratuitous
Break it, shake it, bake it, then you cools it
Treat it like them whiteys at Nike and just do it
Hot as me—fuck no, they mockeries
Flows get quoted like Socrates philosophies

If you’re like me (which I assure you, you’re not), you get most of your news (and pr0n) from the internets, so you probably don’t care too tough about all of the britching, moaning and “string of dismal headlines about the newspaper business” going belly-up. The thing is that many of these stories are neglecting the fact newspapers are raking in the dough like few other greedy mediums around. According to my (admittedly limited) research, average profit margins for newspapers are 20%, compared with 6% for the entire Fortune 500 and 7% for oil companies. Now, when you’re damned-near tripling the profit margin for oil companies, you know there’s a problem.

Hmmm. . . perhaps I should just bomb the media outlets that piss me off. After all, nothing can quite shut the flapping maw of someone you disagree with as effectively as killing them.

Unfortunately, the true task at hand is not so cut and dry. It requires reforming on-line business models so that investigative journalism—the kind that requires experience, resources and work out in the field, as opposed to great Google skills—can find its way to onto our computers, smartphones and iPods. Because, seriously, no one wants to hold a newspaper everyday, anymore. It’s not good for the trees, you know.

. . . Speaking of news and oil, even the Iraqis are screaming leave Iraq alone, saying, specifically, "The Iraqi people are looking forward to the day when foreign forces will leave Iraq, when its armed and security forces will be rebuilt and when they can enjoy peace and stability and an end to terrorism."

Oh those troublesome and ungrateful Iraqis, how they hate democracy. Have they no appreciation for the great job this country is doing for them? It’s not like the US forces have been there torturing civilians and otherwise killing women and children with chemical weapons, or anything.

Luckily, the Bush Administration is intent on remaining in the area until every last dollar that can be made is made and those filthy Allah worshippers put up a Christmas tree in every Starbucks and Wal-Mart the country can handle. Quotha some random flack for Bush: “As President Bush has said, the coalition remains committed to helping the Iraqi people achieve security and stability as they rebuild their country. We will stay as long as it takes to achieve those goals and no longer."

Translation: As long there’s crude in that ground, those motherfuckers are gonna learn to like Venti Arabian Mocha Sananis. Peak Oil’s just around the corner. Drink up, heathens.

[I’s a modern day Sambo—so niggerish.]

It's This Heat I'ma I Greet You With

2005-11-22T03:57:00.000-05:00

You were put here to protect us. But who protects us from you?

How ya doin'?

I'm so literary wit' it, you can tell how I write
The boy such an author, I should smoke a pipe
Rockin' the ascot, the coupe with the glass top
Seventeen-inch rims, making the Ave. drop
I was in the spot from the first to the fifth
With a mean comeback like The Return of the Sith
Like riding a bike, never you forget:
Still I got it for cheap, whether you smoke or you sniff
The gift is the curse and vice versa
To remove me off that horse takes more than a merger
During that hiatus I was with the natives
Then back to the states, pass along the savings
Put it in the street, catering to cravings
Like the second coming, got the fans awaiting
Victory is sweet, even amongst the hatin'
Find me on the beach, island of the Caymans

So it would seem that Dick Cheney invited three trouble-making Republicans past the gates of Mordor in order to tell the meddling Fellowship that it would be in their best interest to stop causing problems about the supposedly non-existent acts of torture being carried out under the aegis of the Bush Administration. The "little triumvirate" succinctly told Cheney to go kcuf himself. Apparently these "deranged moonbats" had not read the fawning Newsweek report, which states that "torture lite has been a sparingly used but essential tool."

"Torture lite"? What's that, like kinda pregnant? Slightly murdered?

Oh, blow me.

Everyone knows that the United States does not engage in torture. That would be, like, uncivilized or something.

[Dear Lord: Please take the wackness out of rappin'. Give them something to practice. Don't let them see action.]

The Montage, The Re-Birth, The Renaissance, The Avant-Garde

2005-11-20T22:34:00.000-05:00

Same block where I crawled on 'em, I'ma fall on 'em.

New Marvin, screamin' "What's goin' on?"

You wanna play Ghost, I'll lift your spirit on you
Paradise lost, leave your emotions blue
Throw black roses and un-Blood you
You ain't family, youse a buffoon

So grown on 'em, G4 flown on 'em
I'm Sherman Hemsley: George when I stroll on 'em
On a track, scream like Ramo on 'em
But I'm back like The Crow on 'em
Taimak: Got the glow on 'im
Sun, I flow on 'em
In the past, George Jung: Had blow on 'im
Dirt cheap, cop for the low-low on 'em
Lil' Jon, get low on 'em
In the car wit' the top off, I catch cold on 'em
And the jewels like a show on 'im
But, trust, he got the fo' on 'im
I put a nigger in the sky, see his soul on 'im
No console on 'im
Go hard or go home on 'im
Conquer the game is the goal on 'im
I'm so bold on 'em
Scold on 'em when I scroll on 'em
The best writer since Hov on 'em
Now that's Nirvana: Dave Grohl on 'em
The man, the music, the makin', the king
Crown the heir to the throne on 'im

What's been on my mind lately:

1. The fact that I may not be important enough to make Bill O'Reilly's "Enemies List." I feel obligated to earnestly confess that this troubles me to no end. To clear this oversight, I will take to reciting Zen koans to the military recruiters on the Ave. Lest this not work, I will invoke the nuclear option and place a Happy Holidays banner on this blog.

Add me, Bill. Post-nuclear options include using nativity scenes as public bathrooms. You don't want that. I'm on a mostly liquid diet and my piss is extra rank these days.

2. The overwhelming reports that the U.S. military apparatus is engaging in varied acts of torture and, apparently, indiscirminately dropping semi-legal white phosphorous like confetti in Iraq for a war being fought under a pretense that the man on the ground been said there was no need for:

A good place to start any detailed discussion of this matter is with former UNSCOM chief weapons inspector Scott Ritter, who spent seven years in Iraq searching out and destroying Iraq's weapons and weapons manufacturing capabilities. "After 1998," Ritter reports in a book I wrote in 2002 titled War on Iraq, "Iraq had been fundamentally disarmed. What this means is that 90%-95% of Iraq's weapons of mass destruction capability, including all of their factories used to produce chemical, biological, nuclear long-range ballistic missiles, the associated equipment of these factories, and the vast majority of the product produced by these factories, had been verifiably eliminated."

It apparently doesn't matter to the fearful little children on the right that soldiers of all stripes are speaking out about these despicable acts.

(There's much, much more information about this and what's going on in Guantanamo. But, don't take my word for it. Go through your research. Cross-reference, do due diligence and all that.)

3. Too many small minds think that Global Warming and Peak Oil is part of some "liberal" conspiracy. This makes me want to holler, like Marvin, when his father shot him in the chest. I hope you all live long enough to answer the questions your children and grandchildren will ask you.

4. Dudes that do what they do because I do what I do is acting like they forgetting who they plucked they whole style from. (P.O.: Get that Death Star ready, homey. I'm sick of waiting to give these losers a good look at what they aspiring to be.)

5. Ab-Liva may be peripherially associated with the DipSet. For the love of Jim Jones, say it isn't so.

P.S. -- I ain't up on the latest in hip-hop news. I'm more concerned with my tip-top shoes. Don't get it confused. Re-Up, lock and load, britches. You thinkin' like children.

[You got no choice, but notice me. Everything I drop hard.]

It's Like The Blues

2005-10-23T05:07:00.000-04:00

We gon' ride out on this one.

This is my second major break-up.

The Percentage Who Don't Understand

2005-10-23T03:05:00.000-04:00

Is higher than the percentage who do.

Check yourself: What percentage is you?

Smiley Faces After All Of Her Phrases

2005-10-21T00:02:00.000-04:00

Checks and balances? Pshaw.

The Judicial Branch of the US Government remodeled as an arm of the Executive Branch? But, of course. All Bush needs in his life of sin is Harriet Miers: Certified Jizz-Catcher.

I really don't think this one is up for debate, or anything.

Put us together—how they gon' stop both us?

Gorillas, Banana Clips

2005-10-20T21:38:00.000-04:00

It's been said that if you put enough monkeys in front of enough typewriters, they could come up with the works of Shakespeare (or whoever wrote his shiite). Well, from what's been seen of FEMA's e-mail style, those jizz-catchers would be better off taking notes from Itebero, the nut-cracking gorilla. Seriously, when you consider the nut-cracking and last month's stick-walking trick, and add in global warming, you gotta figure that we're ripe for some of that Planet of the Apes action, just around the time that Roberts makes it legal for Wal-Mart to charge for air.

I got a zoo with me.

Back To The Gats

2005-10-20T21:06:00.000-04:00

You forgot: I'm real good with them.

So it would seem that Charlton Heston's boys at the National Rifle Association have made it illegal to sue gun corporations when someone gets popped, capped or otherwise has some fat torn out of their heads by a hot one. Of course, this makes total sense, because you, not the manufacturers, should be held accountable for your actions.

Unless you're a G.I. Joe. Then, you can kill a journalist, and then, I don't know, go back to base and feed your gambling addiction.

Quoth the untrustworthy New York Times:

[E]ven military researchers have acknowledged that the armed forces are heavily populated by people who, like Aaron Walsh, may be especially vulnerable to gambling addiction: athletic, risk-taking young people who are experiencing severe stress and anxiety.

"And wartime is an environment that is probably creating more vulnerability than usual," said Christine Reilly, executive director of the gambling addiction research institute at Cambridge Health Alliance, a teaching institution for the Harvard Medical School.

More than four years ago, Congress ordered the Pentagon to study how on-base slot machines were affecting military families. The Pentagon initially hired PricewaterhouseCoopers to do the study, but it ended the contract after a few months and completed the study itself.

Yes. Because we trust the military to police themselves. Those guys who get discharged and wind up spending their life savings in windowless Vegas casinos while sipping free, watered-down drinks? At least they're not coming home to spawn four-legged children after being inoculated with Whyte God in the sky knows what by those psycho Pentagon scientists. You gotta figure that anyone who lives through doing this country's dirty work overseas is pretty much a detriment to society, anyway.

You've seen The Manchurian Candidate. You know what I'm talking about.

See ya later at the crap tables.

Caught Cases, But Had Capital

2005-10-20T20:15:00.000-04:00

Hypocritic system, let them right back at you.

So it would seem that some company in Virgina was helping that bad, bad, bad Saddam Hussein scam the world, by running game on the United Nations' "Oil-For-Food" Program. Now, we can all agree that Saddam was a bad, bad, bad man, and the world is safer now that he's no longer in power. (At least that's what I've been told by George Bush, and we know that George must have cut down a cherry tree or seomthing, because, well, he never lies.)

Anyway, according to New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg's side hustle:

Midway Trading, based in Reston, Virginia, pleaded guilty to grand larceny charges and agreed to pay a $250,000 fine, Manhattan District Attorney Robert Morgenthau said today.

A quarter-mil? For helping that bad, bad, bad man scam the world?

Oh, blow me.

Allen Iverson's gonna owe more than that to the NBA by Valentine's Day.

Dumps dough on the DA desk, and I flee scott-free.

You Rich: Take The Doo-Rag Off

2005-10-20T15:43:00.000-04:00

Thug nigga 'til the end. Tell a friend, bitch.

My sports life is like this: If the Yankees ~~lose~~ don't win, then there is no sports. NBA? Eh, I care more about Michelle Wie*. But I'll be damned if the latest little ol' piece of ~~racism~~ penis envy by David Stern and his genetically challenged jizz-catchers at the NBA doesn't reek enough of fear of a Black planet to make me say. . .

Oh, blow me.

Looking over some choice points of the dress code—"dress jeans" only, no sneakers, no gold chains, no doo-rags, no wife-beaters (referring to the shirts, not the players themselves)—one has to wonder if they'll still be serving chicken and watermelon in the cafeteria.

Luckily, the players and most everyone with a brain can see this for what it is: background noise.

Oh, blow me.

* Because everyone needs at least one golf-playing Korean woman in their life.

Live yo' life. Get yo' ice.

Aren't You Sharp As A Tack?

2005-10-19T19:57:00.000-04:00

You some type of lawyer, or sum'in'? Somebody impor'ant or sum'in?

Says Roger Parloff in the October 17, 2005 issue of Fortune (yes, that one) :

The business cases on the Supreme Court's docket for the fall term have been crowded out of public view by blockbusters concerning assisted suicide, abortion, military recruitment on campuses, and the question of whether former Playmate-of-the-year Anna Nicole Smith should recieve $475 million or zilch from the estate of her late husband. But a few bear watching:

- In one of the three antitrust suits being heard, the Court will decide if tying the sale of a patented product to an unpatented one is illegal per se.

- Merrill Lynch is asking the Court to rule that investors' state-law fraud claims are preempted by federal securities laws, which afford narrower, stingier remedies.

- And the Court will decide whether Ohio's tax-credits scheme, which enticed DaimlerChysler to build a plant in that state, violate the Commerce clause. Dell, which has built a North Carolina plant relying upon similar incentives, will watch with great interest.

Under new Chief Justice John roberts, who represented corporate defendants while in private practice, business lawyers expect the Court to become more active in resolving disagreements among the federal appeals courts over recurring business disputes. Says Greg Coleman, head of apellate litigation for Weil Gotshal & Manges: "I think we'll see a turn for the better in the number of business cases the court is willing to take."

I ain't pass the bar, but I know a little bit.

Pimp Strollin' On 'Em

2005-10-19T01:57:00.000-04:00

Says Josh Holland, on AlterNet.Org:

Where would the GOP be without the specter of godless, baby-killing liberals keeping its base awake at night? Gone would be the their most potent organizing issue, the source of their passion advantage. Gone too would be the apathy of those on the left and center-left -- poof! It would be the end of their suburban "security moms." Young women would begin to realize that maybe, just maybe, thinking of oneself as a feminist isn't the worst thing in the world.

I'm glad that someone is bringing up the fact that Harriet Miers' nomination is not as much as about Roe v. Wade, as it is about protecting the interests of corporate heads of state. Mind you that both Miers and Roberts have served as corporate lawyers (you know, the kind that rep for big businesses after their products have been proven to give your children autism or something). Mind you that the Bush Administration and their satellite cronies are business tycoons with corporate interests, guys that could not win elections (not even against dead people), kooks from the Rapture Right and other assorted jizz-catchers. Mind you that the one unifying thread in all of Dubya's decisions—from Iraq to Katrina to the environment to tax cuts—has not been the right to life, but the right for the rich to get richer.

Don't take my word for it. Look it up.

Oh, God—don't let 'em control ya.

More Black Chicks Between My Sheets Than Essence Esquire

2005-10-18T17:17:00.000-04:00

Tickle me pink—like whyte girl clitoris.

So, after throwing Skateboard P on the cover two months ago—as if they knew that his boys would release the hip-hop ~~mixtape~~ album of the year (get familiar)—the aging frat boys at Esquire have released their annual "Women We Love Issue." Jessica Biel is the helmed this year's "Sexiest Woman Alive," something they've built up over the past six months as some sort of mystery, with clues and piece-by-piece revelations of her body (bet you wish you had a subscription now, don't you?).

Now, I'm not totally obverse to the objectification of the human form (especially not the female version of said form). Nor am I mad at JB. And I definitely ain't protesting the full-page shot of 2046's Gong Li, who may well be the best reason to see next summer's Miami Vice movie. But, in an international poll surveying "the editors of ten foreign editions of Esquire," looking for "The Sexiest Women on the Planet," the boys from Hearst evidently couldn't find a single Black woman worthy of inclusion. (Ciara is given a one sentence blurb under "Women We Like. Hard;" and there is an ample sampling of women of color—just no Negresses.)

Eh. Luckily for me, like Chingy, I take 'em Black, Whyte, Puerto Rican, or Haitian; Japanese, Chinese, or even Asian. And Charles Pierce's "Greetings from Idiot America" as well as Tom Junod's "The Case for Intelligent Design" are—pretty much like most the magazine's regular feature well—worth reading if you're into well-versed conversation and insightful writing on pop culture and mainstream discussions.

P.S.— We Got It 4 Cheap Vol. 2 is not entirely feminist ("fuckin' your broad. . . with another bitch groping her breast, waiting for next;" "fuck the shit out your girl, let the city watch us"), conflicted about race and responsibility ("I's a modern-day Sambo, so niggerish;" "Love my race, I am young, gifted and Black/Rubberband money, Pyrex full of crack") and laden with no small amounts of gratuitous cocaine talk and wanton materialism. But, damned, these guys are full of gully eloquence, rapping like they have no respect for rappers who have no respect for rap or their audience. Yes, there's some serious contradiction going on here. Bigger discussion. Later time. The ~~mixtape~~ album to beat this year. Kcuf Zomba.

Them crackers gon' act like I ain't on they ass.

Forgetting All I Ever Knew

2005-10-18T01:47:00.000-04:00

I suggest you call my lawyer—I know the procedure.

So, the unscrupulous pieces of toad excerement who run the US war machine, in their infinite stupidity and utter disregard for human life, have, once again, murdered innocent women and children in the name of fattening the pocekts of Dick Cheney, a greedy golem of a man whose stock options have risen by over three-thousand percent in the past year. I mean, am I the only one who expects this guy to break out with my precioussss everytime I see him? Am I the only who thinks he's a test tube baby in need of hugs, therapy and a moral compass? Does no one else see the irony (or lack thereof) in the fact that his heart does not work the way it's supposed to?

Am I the only one who realizes that the only thing that this Administration has done correctly in Iraq has revolved around swindling taxpayer money? (Much like the post-Katrina suspension of the Davis-Bacon Act, making it legal for corporations to pay workers less than minimum wage to rebuild their communities?)

You know, when things get this bad, I can only thank Whyte God in the sky and His only begotten blue-eyed son that this great Red, Whyte and Blue nation where I pay my taxes is out in that filthy, fanatic Islamic world spreading democracy. Why, yes—I will ignore the fact that Iraq is on course to be an Islamic Republic, complete with a constitution that observes Islamic law, leaving it pretty open to being as non-democratic and misogynist as it was before the US military tool dropped bombs over, into and through Bagdhad, Fallujah and any place else they could target. Yes, I will leave out the fact that the major reasons for going into Iraq—you know, Saddam's support for the terrorists behind the 9/11 attacks, his stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction, his getting free cable—have all been proven to be, how do you say, about worth as much as dried up, three-day old skeet skeet skeet shot out of the sore-covered twat of a leper. None of this matters because. . . what we really need is another Rocky flick.

Oh, blow me.

Luckily, Iraq is looking more like the US everyday. (Not that the vote was fixed or anything, because, you know, things like that don't happen.) Luckily, war is not as bad as it used to be, or some other form of horse pucky. Luckily, you can probably get a pretty good deal on a used car from New Orleans.

I don't know. Maybe, I didn't pay attention as a kid. Maybe, I'm just a communist. Or one of those evil liberals. (Run. Hide. They're everywhere!) Or maybe—just, maybe—I just don't give a kcuf about your labels, your preconceptions or your precious feelings.

Maybe, I'm just bored.

To wit: Ever since I purchased that little gadget that was advertised by Dr. Ho on a Sunday afternoon informercial, I've been getting an increased number of annoying telemarketing calls. Hell, even Mayor Mike Bloomberg had some guy call me, asking if I wanted to donate to his re-election campaign, as if I would give money to a billionaire, which reminds me of the time that a label publicist chastised me for downloading music and admonished me for not "supporting" her artists—never mind that the artists in question had sold well over 10 million records; nevermind that I didn't really download their music as much as rip them from the CDs which she sent me in the mail; nevermind that I offered to pay her artist the .08 cents that they would have gotten from the sale anyway; nevermind that the self-same major label plantation which cut her check 26 times a year was the target of a lawsuit behind some pretty questionable accounting practices earlier this year.

Yet, I digress. I was talking about annoying solicitations. And, of all the boneheaded, ass-backwards marketing calls I've gotten (the Police Athletic League comes to mind), I've never been privy to anything as roach-brained as Jeanine Pirro sending a "Dear Hillary" letter to Hillary Clinton asking for Ill Hill's help in unseating the current New York State Senator, who happens to be. . . . Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Like, duh.

I would say more about Pirro, but I've been approached by the Mafia once for overstepping my boundaries and, that, my friends, is one time too many.

Speaking of which, many years ago, a little incident that began with a bumrush of yours truly and ended with a cycle of retaliation that included a lot of not totally necessary violence and multiple school transfers, made me decide that it was not in my bestest interest to attend my high school prom or senior class trip (yaoming?). Yet, had I known that high school proms are apparently precursors to orgies, surely I would have made it my business to get in on some of that pre-marital fornication action. But then again, even with all the whyte kids that gave me free drugs for being a "cool" black kid with a proximity to small arms sales (hey, we all gotta eat), I don't think anyone in my graduating class had enough money to chip in for a $20K Hamptons rental property for the night. Except for, maybe, that kid who had his dad's velour tracksuit-wearing friends hop out that tinted Mark VII and have a little talk with me about the nature of my, how do you say, less than non-violent relationship with the lad.

Oh, yes. They did.

And you best believe I stopped kcuffin' around with dudes whose last names end in vowels, right quick. Quicker than the Fed stopped counting the dead bodies in New Orleans. Unless, there really are more dead people from Hurricane Stan than Hurricane Katrina. Shiite. I don't know who to believe, especially after realizing that Judith Miller was ~~in bed~~ embedded with more than just US troops.

Seriously. This neo-con jizz catcher expects us to believe that she can't recall the name of the person who ratted out Valerie Plame? Oh, Judy, you really are earning your Stop Snitching tee, aren't you? Or, as Randi Rhodes says, "We should trust Judith Miller as much as we trust anyone who's just got out of jail." A statement, which can mean various things, depending upon your value system.

Well, let's see how that First Ammendment thing works when it comes to protecting my Black ass for calling a hoe a hoe.

Oh, blow me.

P.S.— One (1) refurbished, kinda-sorta sanitized, previously-owned vehicle and one (1) lightly-used Stop Snitching tee (containing what may or may not be Scooter Libby's DNA) to the person who can tell me just how many Iraqis (civilian or otherwise) have been killed by coalition actions since "Mission: Accomplished."

Don't be fooled—my game is mental.

My New Name Is "Just The Facts"

2005-10-16T21:19:00.000-04:00

That was then. . .

This is now. . .

"The most pathetic aspect of this—and there are so many pathetic aspects—is that in an age of satellite TV and 24-hour news coverage, it took a porn Web site to bring war's reality home," says San Francicso Chronicle columnist Neva Chonin, a woman whose work has aptly been described as "light, not too sardonic, but with that added measure of critical thinking that people need to read."

(Speaking of which: Mike Malloy and Randi Rhodes are on Air America Radio. Strictly Laserbeak status. And they Podcast.)

Now, with the recent accusations that the U.S.-led coalition in Iraq's art of war includes starving Iraqi citizens, the fact that somebody is going to get (at the very least) a pretty stern slap on the wrist sometime soon behind the Valerie Plame outing and the staged video press conference that no one bought , I'm expecting a raised terror threat any day now. Because, as we all instinctively knew, there's a coincidental correlation between the Bush Administration's kcuf-ups and the announcement of "terror alerts."

Please note that dude who started the porn for prictures program was arrested, because, you know, porn is evil and, I guess, illegal, or something.

I say what I feel—y'all adjust to that.

People Lined Up To See The Titanic Sinking

2005-10-02T08:47:00.000-04:00

Instead, we rose from the ash like a phoenix.

I'm on extended vacay—I ain't unpack yet.

This Is A Marathon

2005-09-23T12:05:00.000-04:00

Look behind you: I'm 'bout to pass you twice.

Gone. For a week. Or two. Maybe more. Maybe less. Give or take a week.

So, even if I slack, I got enough leeway.

Back To Claim Pole Position

2005-09-22T02:41:00.000-04:00

At home on these charts. Y'all niggas visiting.

I'm The Relief Pitcher

2005-09-21T04:32:00.000-04:00

It's gonna come down to that last game, isn't it? That's okay. We're built for this.

They're clean up hitters. It works.

We Rebellious, We Back Home. . .

2005-09-20T11:55:00.000-04:00

If dead men could talk.

We're sorry, New York. You cannot hear Cindy Sheehan's ballad for a fallen soldier because she does not have the proper permits. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a crime.

At least democracy continues to thrive in Iraq. The short version of that story is this: Two undercover Limey G.I. Joes, dressed in Arab gear, bucked shots at some Iraqi po-po and were summarily arrested; so the Brits rolled up with tanks, broke their boys out, then went back to HQ for a cuppa and chinwag.

Meanwhile, in other parts of the country, well, you know, bombs and whatnot.

P.S. — North Korea, bad. Again.

Where cops lock you up more than try to defend you.

I Like 'Em Bow-Legged

2005-09-20T11:34:00.000-04:00

Never cokeheaded.

So, H&M has dropped Kate Moss over her alleged drug use. (I'm sure the rumors of experimental tribadism haven't helped either.) Like Bush with Brownie, the house that Hennes & Mauritz built was seemingly willing to ride with Young Moss until the fiasco, which now threatens to be her legacy sorta like Winona Ryder and her five-finger penchant, blew out of hand. Can't say I fault the Swedes, with them being a buiness and all (legally, she probably broke one of those "good faith" clauses in her contract). But Katie must be having a rough time. She's gotten rid of dude, which may be a reflex, a spin, a genuine attempt at sobriety or something else altogether. Either way, it can't be all good for her right now.

Of course, she's made her own bed (we all do). Still, my heart goes out to this woman because the news story behind this hasn't been "Supermodel Does Coke" (no surprise there), but "Supermodel Admits She Does Coke." There's a great deal of hypocrisy in all factions of these celebrity games that promote image and persona, regardless of human cost. Once the smoke machine stalls or one of the mirrors break, fools bounce like rats off a sinking ship. Now, that the issue has been exposed, former sycophants suddenly turn self-righteous. Blind eyes suddenly gain sight. Tellingly, anyone who can get their name in black & white by telling a sordid Kate Moss tale is coming out to play. And, beautifully, some people have her back.

Hopefully, Kate will find the people who are really willing to ride for her. Unconditionally. And, Goddess willing, she's gonna come out of this knowing who's who and what's what. We should all be blessed with such crises from time to time.

I didn't see you in the coutroom when everybody was suing us.

I'll Castor Troy You

2005-09-19T14:16:00.000-04:00

Change your face or Bush'll change all that for you.

North Korea, not quite un-bad, but getting there, or something like that: "In other words, they have said, in principle, that they will abandon their weapons programs," says George "Bully on the Block" Bush. "And what we have said is, great. That's a wonderful step forward. But now we've got to verify whether or not that happens . . . The question is, over time, will all parties adhere to the agreement?"

Says Hajime Izumi, professor of North Korean studies at Japan's University of Shizuoka: "At the moment, we still can't be sure of Kim's intentions. They have bought some time to consider seriously whether they will give up all their weapons and programs . . . but there are so many points along the road in which this process could again reach a stalemate that it's simply too early to celebrate."

But, more importantly:

"North Korea has never recognized the existence of what the United States maintains is a secret uranium enrichment program designed to become another source of nuclear weapons material alongside the plutonium produced at its Yongbyon facility.

"Although that charge was not mentioned in the document signed Monday, it presumably would be covered by the pledge to dismantle "all nuclear weapons and existing nuclear programs." To remove doubts about it, however, U.N. inspectors would have to have enough access to prove that there is no such program to a skeptical audience in Washington."

Are we supposed to listen to the Bush who cried wolf and believe in more "secret" WMDs? Have we seen this movie already? Or is this one of those prequels?

Not that I'd trust Kim Jong Il with a loaded BB gun, let alone nukes. . .

Face off.

P.S. — Somebody check the temperature in Hell: I think I actually agree with our Commander and Thief. Nagin needs to fall back. Don't gas yourself, homey.

Y'all wish it was frontin'. I George Bush the button.

Y'all Just Better Hope We Gracefully Bow Out

2005-09-19T02:04:00.000-04:00

Fuck the flow, y'all jackin' our slang.

Now is when I start paying attention.

Which is why I can catch the slanguistics from the above offerring from MLB.com describing a "sick grab" (oh. . . kay) against the BoCox (okay!).

Anyhow, last year's act of God accounted for, I have faith in this year's race, if only because my favorite cousin (whom at this point only remains my favorite cousin for his ability to liberate Aeron chairs from his place of work and FedEx them to the hood) from that miserbale, co-ed infested smear on the American landscape had the unmitigated gall to exit a family function this summer with the words, "Okay everyone, I'm going back to Boston—home of the champs!"

Men have been killed for less.

I'm only keeping him around in the hopes that his job upgrades to the Humanscale Freedom Chair. But if we lose this year, no amount of ergonomic love will stave off my righteous wrath.

P.S. — Thank you, Oakland. You really know how to hold it down.

With that new blue Yankee on—who but me?

I Ain't Gon' Lie, The Head Was Sick

2005-09-19T00:42:00.000-04:00

But it's not taking place in that photo. Thinking otherwise is only showing your inexperience, children. Please stop embarrassing yourselves.

Actually, believe half of what you see, none of what you hear—even if it's backed by me.

One Of The Reasons That They Call Us Gang Green

2005-09-19T00:21:00.000-04:00

The other reason: we got a gang of green.

So, basically, FEMA, in its current incarnation, is a sham. A sham with the power to to throw the US Constitution out the window. A sham that is coming apart at its presently nepotistic seams. A sham that is turning qualified lifesavers into a street team. A sham that is endorsing a man I do not trust; a man who sends half of the donations to his charity back into his business.

Says The New York Times:

"If FEMA is that cavalier about charitable donations, imagine what it's doing with the $62 billion (so far) of taxpayers' money sent its way for Katrina relief. Actually, you don't have to imagine: we already know some of it was immediately siphoned into no-bid contracts with a major Republican donor, the Fluor Corporation, as well as with a client of the consultant Joe Allbaugh, the Bush 2000 campaign manager who ran FEMA for this White House until Brownie, Mr. Allbaugh's college roommate, was installed in his place."

With protection like this, who needs terrorists?

If there's better at gettin' cheddar, it reamins to be seen.

If You Shoot My Dog, I'ma Kill Your Cat

2005-09-18T05:16:00.000-04:00

North Korea, bad: "[T]he United States and Japan have argued that [North Korea] cannot be trusted with any kind of nuclear technology, whether nominally peaceful or military."

Iran, bad. But, "Iran's complaint that there is a double standard about who is allowed to become a nuclear power may be met with some sympathy."

Such as (quotha):

"What is right for us is right for others: if it is right for our, Western governments to reserve the right to attack a sovereign nation for either perceived crimes committed or possible future crimes, then it is right for the enemy to do the same. In this case, Iran would be well within their rights to attack the US, pre-emptively, now. The patent aggression being openly directed towards Iran, mirroring the aggression shown toward pre-invasion Iraq, under our elementary moral truism becomes a valid policy avenue for Iran itself. Inversely, if we declare that it is right for us to have security, not be under external threat, to guarantee the prosperity of our citizens, then it is also a right for the government of Iran. Ideological differences apart, dedication to our notion of liberal democracy apart, it should not be on the personal judgement calls of our leaders, or on the desires of our business communities that a regime is deemed different to us, and therefore subject to different courses of action, but on our commitment to a moral integrity, based on our elementary moral truism.

"What is wrong for others is wrong for us: similarly, if it is wrong for Iran to develop its nuclear capabilities, then it is wrong for us to develop our nuclear capabilities. How can we transgress the Non-Proliferation Treaty, year after year, and then deem it a threat or inherently wrong for Iran to do the same? More widely than Iran, if it is wrong for the Russians or the Chinese to supply Iran with weapons, as has been the case recently (think of President Putin receiving a mild scolding from President Bush earlier this year), then it is also wrong for us to sell weapons to nations that on any truthful indicator would fall behind Iran in terms of human rights (think Indonesia).

"What is wrong for others is wrong for us: perhaps the most important area of all, at the level of the state, is the commitment to the belief that it is wrong to kill civilians, irrespective of the cause. The atrocities of Baghdad, London, Bali and New York are all hideously wrong. But so too are the atrocities across Iraq and the Middle East committed by our own governments. All doublespeak about ‘collateral damage’ aside, if we are to have any moral integrity stemming from our elementary moral truism, then the death of civilians anywhere is wrong. Whether they are targeted or not is irrelevant; and the line between targeted and non-targeted civilian death incredibly hard to discern—who can deny that the disgracefully named ‘Operation Shock and Awe’ was not aimed at the entire Iraqi population, a show of brute force to dissuade (for untold thousands, by force of death) one and all from resisting the initial invasion?"

Speaking of which, Iraq is so effin' democratic right now, it's hard to keep track. Seriously.

P.S. — North Korea: bad in soccer, too.

Know that for every action, there's a reaction.

Can't Keep Her Little Model Hands Off Me

2005-09-18T04:46:00.000-04:00

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

Lord,
Forgive us. We all have sinned.

Thanks again,
Supermodel "admits cocaine use."

Hope you don't think users are the only abusers.

What Types Of Facts Are Those?

2005-09-16T05:09:00.000-04:00

Given the mind-boggling amount of sci-fi shiite that’s popping off in New Orleans’ water and air supplies, not to mention the crap that’s seeped into the ground, wood and other porous surfaces, one has to wonder if the accelerated timetable to re-open the city is just another example of human ego not knowing when to take one on the chin and sit the kcuf down. I mean, wasn’t the folly of building a city in a soup-shaped bowl and thumbing our noses at nature’s design the real cause of all of this madness in the first place? One would think that a thorough investigation of the long-term fallout of all these mingling toxins would be in order, no?

It’s a shame to think that politics and hubris are merging to form a “we got this” mentality that will most likely end up with high incidents of cancer, birth defects and Goddess knows what other forms of mutations. This would be good for fiction, but not real life. I personally don’t think that muffacuppas should be rolling the dice with people’s health, but what do I know? It’s not like I can come up with a way to swap sheep ovaries or anything.

In other news, Judge Roberts continues to plead the fizzith or whatever it is that he’s doing. There’s no doubt that he’s a skilled politician, an intelligent man and a very capable lawyer. That’s never been in question. It hasn’t even been in question whether or not he’s going to try to push this country into the hands of the Christian Right. The only thing up for debate is how far will he push this nation’s laws? At this point, we don’t know. Should we really trust a guy who seems more than willing to bob and weave through the very process that is supposed to give us insight into his views? But, really that’s a moot question because, as I’ve stated previously, this dude is gonna be poppin' tags on his striped robe quicker than you can say North Korea is gully. And his replacing Rehnquist is not that deep, because Renhquist was pretty conservative in of himself.

If we wish to be forward-thinking, what we would marshall our resources toward is who will replace the retiring Sandra Day O’Connor. For some context, in the 1992 case of Lee v. Weisman, separation of church and state was upheld in a 5-4 vote by the Supreme court. O’ Connor was one of the five.

And, just in case anyone is intersted, shiite in Iraq is still pretty much kcuffed up. But, at least they're moving towards democracy. As the esteemed writer Kurt Vonnegut notes: "In democracy, after a hundred years, you have to let your slaves go. And after a hundred and fifty years you have to let your women vote. And at the beginning of democracy, quite a bit of genocide and ethnic cleansing is quite okay. And that's what's going on now."

Update: Iraq. Still moving towards democracy.

P.S. — At least we know FEMA wasn't blowing its budget on guest appareances by A-list rappers.

The more things change, the more they stay the same. Who am I to change the game?

Don't Get It Twisted, Man

2005-09-15T07:08:00.000-04:00

I dig U2.

In case I haven't made myself clear: I seriously think you should read this. It's a bit heavy on the Bono-as-God tip, but the man born Paul Hewson don't just talk about it. He be about it.

Everytime there's a tragedy, I'm the first one to help.

Katrina Clap

2005-09-14T22:09:00.000-04:00

Who care about rock n' roll when babies can't eat food?

Not knocking anyone. At All. Dudes is doing what they can or, at least, I suppose, what they know how to do on some "clap your hands, say yeah"-type shit.

And I'm not going to question anyone's integrity, sincerity or motives—especially not dudes like Master P, Juvenile and David Banner who were hit by Katrina on levels I can hardly imagine.

I won't even pull a Mos Def and question Sir Bono and his movements.

But I will say that I find the idea of yet another ad hoc benefit concert far short of an adequate response from the musical/artistic community.

I understand the philosophy behind artistic performance-as-fundrasing vehicle. Still, I feel that, at the very best, such efforts fail to educate and/or set up long-standing, forward-thinking responses to whatever tragedy they had been put together to address. Good hearts, blessed intentions, we are all God's children, peace, love and unity—yeah. Whatever. It's way past time that artists and fans moved beyond this knee-jerk reactivism and found a more substantial template to combat large scale crises. Whether that means long-term partenerships with charitable orgainzations, setting up our own charities or what have you:

[Jay-Z] says he wants to speak with Sean "Diddy" Combs about starting a fund exclusively to aid African-Americans in times of crisis. "Just in case anything like this happens in the future, we can do what the elder Bush and [former President Bill] Clinton are doing for our people specifically."

Seriously, I have more faith in the "We Are the World"-type song that Wacko is organizing than any benefit concert. I mean, hell, there's a chance that the song will be as catchy as that Clarkson girl's "Since U Been Gone" or Mariah's "Shake It Off." Not that such songs capture the moment, but I'm sure that they come closer than anything in say, Baby's catalog, which is a shame because he's arguably the biggest thing out of hip-hop New Orleans these days. (Maybe Wayne can ghostwrite him something real quick.)

At any rate, I'd be intersted in seeing who's still down to get up on that stage for free six, twelve and eighteen months from now. That, at least, would be a start.

It ain't even fun no more—I'm jaded.

More Like A Leader Than A Soldier

2005-09-14T04:11:00.000-04:00

Owner of the 2008 XL78.

Bill Gates speaks:

"At any point in our history, we've had competitors who were better at doing something. Novell was the best at file servers. Lotus was the best at spreadsheets. WordPerfect was the best at word processing.

"Right now, because of the breadth of what we do, we have that in many areas. Nokia is way ahead of us in phones; we're closing the gap. Sony is ahead of us in video games. We're just on the verge of something (the Xbox 360) that will help us close the gap there. In Web search, Google is the far-away leader. Big honeymoon for them. Even if they do "me, too" type stuff, people think, "wow." And Apple in music has done a fantastic job.

"We've got all these areas—like tablet computing, this Internet connectivity, or taking presentation to a new level, office productivity—where we're just out there in front and we just need to keep pushing the frontiers.

"In those areas where somebody else has done well, that's great. We'll match what they do, we'll bring new things to it, do it better and integrate it in with other things. And so it's very healthy for the consumer. We see that in search, we see it in music. It's not new at all that that's out there."

I got loads of capers to come up with this paper.

This War Is Taxing To Him Like Uncle Sam

2005-09-14T03:53:00.000-04:00

Jose does not recall this part in the commercial that convinced him to enlist with the Corps.

Lest we forget: Bombs Over Bagdhad

Update: Ironically enough, Army recruiters have set up a table on the Ave. and have distpatched camo and combat-booted pawns to scour the 'hood, handing out flyers to the youth advertising "training" and "money for college." One dude cornered this kid and was saying, "You wanna go to college? We can help you out with that—money for college."

At no point did Gomer Pyle mention the possibility of the young man getting his head or a limb blown off by some "insurgent" freedom fighter's RPG. Likewise, unbelievably long tours of duty were not part of the sales pitch.

I only wish I was making this shit up.

While I was out there hustling, sinnin' with no religion—he was off the wall, killin' for a livin'.

Alibis Ain't Matchin' Up

2005-09-14T03:36:00.000-04:00

Body counts accumulate like snow.

Bullshit catchin' up.

I wanna end your career, but you gon' do it for me.

I Got Beef With Radio If I Don't Play Their Show

2005-09-14T03:11:00.000-04:00

Soundwave: Strictly Laserbeak Status.

I don’t like listening to the radio. I mean, if I wanted to hear the same eight songs over and over, I’d install ringtones on my phone. I usually wind up listening to the radio under two circumstances. The first is in a cab, which in New York City means that I can be listening to anything from country to talk radio to African chants, which is fine, as this is the type of shit I listen to all day anyway. The other way I get stuck listening to the radio is when I’m riding with one of my peeps and they misplaced, broke or sold the iPod cassette adapter for crack or something like that (“Nah, sun, what had happened was . . .”). This is not good as their CD collections routinely consist of nothing but mixtapes.

Sun, I can’t listen to this shit.

Nah, we good. I got both kinds: talking and no talking.

So what is really being said is that we have a choice bewteen DJ’s talking over random smatterings of songs that record labels apparently thought weren’t good enough to put on an album (which is saying a lot these days), JR Writer vs. Papoose vs. Grafh: Who Got Next? hosted by The Mixtape Prince or the Hot 97 playlist on CD (with Reggaeton bonus tracks!).

At this point, I opt for the radio, which means that as we violate a few state laws (riding dirty, pastic cups, choking leaves–but, please, put on your seatbealt), we get to listen to the local Loudmouth Insecure Cockriding DJ (LICDJ) refer to himself in the third person, talk over songs and plug where he’s playing that night: “We gonna do it real big at Club Ass Smackers. LICDJ on the ones and two. First 50 bitches to get they assess smacked get a free bottle of champagne. So get there early and wear yo’ tightest ish!”

Best part is when the Hometown Famous Rapper (HFR) shows up and the cockriding begins in earnest:

LICDJ: I see you got the 2008 Monthy Python XL78 on 35’s! You killin’ them!

HFR: Yeah. You know how we do. Dalai Lama status.

LICDJ: Release! [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: No more 34’s.

LICDJ: You hear that Hometown? 34’s are finished! 35’s and up! Step your game up or get off the road!

HFR: Spend that cheese, spend that cheese. You gotta spend that cheese.

LICDJ: Release! [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: I’ma be real with you, LICDJ. I’ma be real. I’m home, I’m in Hometown, my hometown, I can’t lie. Last year, before I signed my deal and got the promise of getting 70 trillion dollars—because you know they don’t give it to you all at once; they just promise to give it you you, and shit—can I say “shit” on the radio?

LICDJ: Oh no! You’re causing problems. Sexy Jewish Lady Who Runs the Station is gonna call now! The red phone is gonna be ringing!

HFR: Sorry, SJLWRS. I ain’t know I can’t say “shit.”

LICDJ: Oh no!

HFR: Shit.

LICDJ: Release! [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: Oh fuck. Anyway . . .

LICDJ: Release! [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: . . . I’ma keep it real with Hometown!

LICDJ: He’s about to release y’all! [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: Laserbeak status.

LICDJ: Hoo-hoo-hoo!! He said “Laserbeak status!” You heard that Hometown? No more Starscream. Strictly Leserbeak! [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: Yeah. Dalai Lama status. I’ma keep it Laserbeak.

LICDJ: Speak on it. I’m just here to suck your dick.

[red phone rings]

BOTH: Oh shit.

LICDJ: Sorry, SJLWRS.

HFR: It’s my fault, SJLWRS.

LICDJ: Release.

HFR: I’ma speak on it. I used to have the XL77. This was before I got that promise of 70 trillion. When I got that promise, because I have no concept of financial planning, I went right to the dealer and got a $600,000 car.

LICDJ: Whoo-hoo-hoo! $600,000! You hear that Hometown?! If you pushing anything less than half-a-mil, pull over when you see him. Tithe!

HFR: Yeah, man. I ain’t even deal with the 77 no more—that’s only $450,000. I’m a baller now. I gave it to my babymama. You know, donate that bit of change to Katrina victims or something.

LICDJ: Speaking of which . . .

HFR: Uh-huh.

LICDJ: . . . Hurricane Katrina . . .

HFR: Uh-huh.

LICDJ: . . devastated a lot of people . . .

HFR: Uh-huh.

LICDJ: . . .you’re not part of the benefit concert.

HFR: Uh-huh.

LICDJ: Why is that?

HFR: Ummm, well, you know it’s like this: I’m no hypocrite. You hear my album, it’s all bitches and guns and money, yunnowhutI’msayn? Yeah, I threw on the one song about my moms and the other about my dead homies, but seriously, no one wants to listen to that. They just forward over that on the CD. The label made me put those songs on there.

LICDJ: This is real talk, Hometown.

HFR: I ain’t gon’ do no show where I’m performing no songs that no one want to hear. And I ain’t gonna feel right doing songs like “More Ice Than You,” “Shorty Wanna Pop” or “Kill You Twice” at no benefit concert, man. I can’t be no hypocrite. I keep it Laserbeak.

LICDJ: Laserbeak status! He’s releasing! [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: Transform and roll out.

LICDJ: So, how does it feel when you rolling, you got no money in your pocket, but you get drinks free at the bar ‘cause you a rapper—

FR: Don’t forget the credit card.

LICDJ: The credit card?

HFR: Yeah. It goes against my budget. I gotta pay it back if my record doesn’t do well.

LICDJ: Yes! They always get you with that! But we won’t talk about that. Talk more about the car!

HFR: Well, it’s the 2008. They ain’t even mass produce them yet. Me, Robert Dinero and Bill Gates the only ones that got one.

LICDJ: That is so Laserbeak.

HFR: Baby African ostrich seats.

LICDJ: [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: Genetically modified virgin muskrat fur on the floor.

LICDJ: [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: Nuclear bomb-proof stained-glass crystal windows.

LICDJ: [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: 48 karat gold steering wheel.

LICDJ: I’m not even talking. I’m just gonna say: [Lets off space shuttle sound effect] Release! [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: The dash is pure Sycamore. Only cut from trees over 40,000 years old.

LICDJ: Whoo-hoo! Now let’s talk about the album.

HFR: Oh man, it’s heat. I got like 14,000 songs done, but I’m trying to pick the best 900. It’s gonna be a quadruple BD. Strictly Blu-ray.

LICDJ: 14,000 songs. He’s released, y’all!

HFR: Yeah. Cause, you know, I’m not a rapper. I’m a talker. I just talk to people. Any thing that rhymes, I say it. If I can spit it, you can get wit it.

LICDJ: Release! [Lets off space shuttle sound effect]

HFR: Laserbeak.

LICDJ: Whoo-hoo! We gotta pay some bills right now, but we’ll be back with Hometown Famous Rapper after this commercial for our upcoming Party at Club Rape. Hometown Famous Rapper will be there. LICDJ on the wheels. It's gonna be so Dalai Lama.

HFR: Truly.

LICDJ: When we come back, I wanna talk to you about all the overused producers and features you have on your album, 'cause you know, no one makes an album by themselves anymore.

HFR: Laserbeak.

LICDJ: Pull over when you see him. Homage due.

HFR: Stay off the road.

True this: The streets schooled us to spend our money foolish.

Know The Consequences Of Your Acts

2005-09-13T17:44:00.000-04:00

Blindfolded, expected to walk a straight line.

The NYCLU's Udi Ofer, basically explaining why we should be badgering our politicans right about now:

"When Congress passed the USA PATRIOT Act (Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism Act of 2001) in the weeks immediately following September 11, 2001, it recognized that it was granting broad and unprecedented powers to law enforcement, and so it included an expiration date to approximately ten percent of the Act. Those sections are due to expire at the end of this year.

"In response to the expiration both the House and Senate have passed bills to reauthorize those sections. The Senate's bill was a bi-partisan effort that makes modest but important steps toward reforming the Patriot Act, though some significant flaws remain. The House bill, by contrast, does not offer any meaningful reforms, makes some parts of this flawed law even worse, and makes all but two provisions of the Patriot Act permanent. . .

"The Patriot Act as a whole has some important provisions that should not be repealed. For example, it increases funding for the employment of translators by the FBI, and includes expedited payment for public safety officers involved in prevention, rescue, or recovery efforts related to a terrorist attack.

"But the Patriot Act also strips New Yorkers of basic constitutional rights, including the right to free speech, privacy, and due process. The provisions that strip us of our rights must be reformed. Unfortunately, none of the bills currently before Congress adequately fix the Patriot Act. While the Senate bill is a step in the right direction, it fails to address some of the biggest problems. . .

"There are about a dozen sections that are the most threatening to basic rights and freedoms. Here are three examples: Section 215, which violates the First and Fourth amendments, grants the FBI unprecedented authority to seize your personal records without proof of any criminal activity and in complete secrecy. Section 213, which violates the Fourth Amendment, allows the government to search your home and seize your property in regular criminal proceedings without telling you for months or years. And section 802, which violates the First Amendment by defining “domestic terrorism” so broadly that it includes activists engaged in nonviolent civil disobedience. By the way, section 802 is one of the reasons that many conservatives are against the Patriot Act. They know that this provision could be used in the future against the anti-choice movement. . .

"The NYPD is violating the Fourth Amendment rights of subway commuters by enforcing a policy of searching the bags of those seeking to enter the subway system without any suspicion of wrongdoing. Long-established constitutional principles hold that individuals retain the right to move about on our public streets freely without police intrusions. Police officers, as a general matter, may not search individuals in the absence of individualized suspicion.

"Yet under this program, tens of thousands of innocent New Yorkers trying to move about the city have been searched by the police without any suspicion of wrongdoing. Meanwhile, those who want to plant a bomb remain free to enter the system without being searched. . .

"No one in their right mind would think that this policy deters terrorism. Under the program, there are police checkpoints at a small number of entrances where people are selected for search supposedly according to a numerical formula. If you don’t want to be searched, then you are allowed to refuse and walk away. Then, you are free go to the next subway stop, where there will most likely be no checkpoint, and enter the subway system. . .

"Being that we live in New York City, and live under a Republican Mayor, Governor, and President, and since our job is to be critical of government measures, we get accused of being anti-Republican, which translates into being pro-Democrat. But I have little doubt that with a Democrat Mayor, Governor, or President, we would still have plenty of work to do."

Note: I am in no way, shape or form advocating that you do not begin (or continue) to stockpile high-powered weapons and body armor. I'm just saying it shouldn't be your only option against whatever or whoever may come your way.

I thought this was America, people.

Caught Up In The Rapture

2005-09-13T15:59:00.000-04:00

Jake & Elwood: Also on a mission from God.

I've found myself in the last place I looked, I've found money in my clothes, I've found forgtten condoms in my various stash spots, I've found strands of women's hair in the most unexplained places, but I've never found 45 dead bodies.

I guess I'm supposed to take solace in the fact that G-Dub feels that "at least as far as I'm concerned, this great city has got ample talent and ample genius to set the strategy and set the vision. Our role at the federal government is, you know, obviously within the law, to help them realize that vision. And that's what I wanted to assure the mayor." I think that's like throwing money at your girl instead of spending quality time with her. Last time I tried that approach, I came home to some Mariah Carey "Shake It Off"-type shit on my answering machine. Just like the Calgon commercial.

--------------------------

Judge Roberts says that he has no agenda on the bench, but he apparently was able to draw Dick Cheney a/k/a Senator Palpatine out of whatever cave the Sith Lord hides in for a secret meeting a few months back. Sayeth The Nation:

For one thing, based on his Senate questionnaire, we now know that the judge is at the center of an ethics scandal. Attorney General Gonzales, Karl Rove, Dick Cheney and other top officials interviewed him for the nomination in May, the very period he was hearing the Administration's appeal in the crucial Ahmed Hamdan case, a sweeping challenge to the extraordinary military commissions at Guantánamo. Indeed, Roberts was first interviewed by Gonzales on April 1, before Hamdan's appeal was heard. These secret meetings should sound an alarm across the partisan divide. Roberts and two other judges ruled in favor of the commissions just four days before the White House announced Roberts's Supreme Court nomination. Hamdan's lawyers knew nothing about Roberts's secret job interviews. As legal ethicists Stephen Gillers, David Luban and Steven Lubet pointed out in Slate, these interviews "violated federal law on the disqualification of judges," specifically the statutory principle that judges should step aside if their "impartiality might reasonably be questioned." The huge stakes for Roberts, and the equally massive stakes for the Administration in its challenge to the Geneva Conventions and other impediments to the military commissions, raise Roberts's role in the Hamdan case beyond mere appearance of conflict to the real thing. Does anyone really think that on July 19 Bush would have introduced Roberts as his nominee if four days earlier he had voted the other way? Roberts should have recused himself from the case. He could at least have notified Hamdan's lawyers of his conflict of interest. The fact that Judge Roberts—a wired-for-life GOP activist who advised the party in Bush v. Gore—didn't do either means that his impartiality fails the smell test.

Not that I believe that this information will slow down the Neocon agenda for eventual enslavement of America and defilement of the planet one iota, not even if it were plastered on the front page of every paper in the country. I know how this movie ends: Jesus comes back, the true believers meet him in heaven, the rest of us go to hell:

Unlike Ronald Reagan who talked openly about his fascination with Armageddon, President Bush has not publicly referred to that event. We don't have concrete evidence of the President's true beliefs, but his policies seem more in line with core values of the Christian Reconstruction movement, a subgroup of the Religious Right that believes the Second Coming is not imminent. Reconstructionists believe that the return of Jesus Christ will come after "bible-believing" Christians have turned the United States into a Christian nation that follows the call of Saint Paul to "make disciples of all nations."

Some core values of the Christian Reconstruction movement reflected in Bush administration policies are: the federal government should recede into the background through massive tax cuts, and then churches would assume responsibility for welfare and education. Bush's signature issues such as tax cuts, faith base initiative and school vouchers fit the Reconstructionist model.

Whatever Bush believes, his environmental policies are accelerating the destruction of the natural world, and his nuclear policies are increasing the risk that nuclear weapons will proliferate and be used. Whether or not President Bush is actively seeking a fulfillment of Biblical Prophecy, his carelessness about the fate of the earth has the same kind of naive magic one finds in pictures of the new Millennium. Following the Great Tribulation, the Lord returns to an earth with clear blue skies and lush green meadows. After the final battle at Armageddon, Christ will come back to a pristine planet.

When Judge Roberts gets sworn in (and I'm pretty kcuffin' sure he will be), the sound heard will be the fifth of seven seals being broken. I am Jack's sense of despair, watching the world crumble with one hand in the sky, the other on Marla's thigh, gridning to the beat with my hammer on my side.

--------------------------

At least Brownie did the political seppuku thing and took himself out of the equation. Maybe we can be emblodened enough to write a letter endorsing a proper investigation into the Fed's sad response to Katrina. Or do a funeral march through New Orleans or something.

--------------------------

Good news is that it's no too late for New Yorkers to do something about the Patriot Act. (Other states, you're on your own.) We may not be able to impeach the president, but we can sue some of these muffacuppas.

Hillary: I like you much more than that mafia-upped, tax-evading Pirro woman, even if she does have better shoes.

--------------------------

According to The New York Times, of the $40.7 billion received by states so far as a result of their lawsuit against tobacco companies, only 5 percent has been spent on fighting smoking. Illinois devoted $315 million of its payout to tax relief, Virginia spent $12 million to lay fiber-optic lines, and North Carolina used 75 percent of its settlement for assistance to tobacco farmers.

This makes sense. Not.

--------------------------

The Associated Press says that about 160 people have been freed from prison on DNA evidence since 1989, but only 17 have received compensation from that sates that convicted them.

I knew that crime didn't pay. I guess innocence doesn't, either.

--------------------------

The latest issue of Ode Magazine put me up on this list of Forbes' 100 Most Powerful Women. Four women of color in the Top 10, two of them Negresses. I guess that's a good thing. Even if the most powerful woman in the world is helping weave the handbasket which will carry us all to hell.

When I perish, the meek shall inherit the Earth. 'Til that time, it's on and poppin'.

Back To The Music

2005-09-07T12:36:00.000-04:00

Gilligan, we hardly knew ye. Be easy, Little Buddy.

History don't matter no more. Niggas is looking at me like, "Aight, yeah?" People who are informed, say nice things and that's cool. But the people out there, they don't care about history, they just care about what's poppin' now. And the thing about me and my music is I really feel like I try to put something that sticks to your gut, something that can make you get in that happier mood, and make you think about who you are as an individual, think about certain things, think about love. You know, think about things to charge your soul in a positive light. But at the same time, I'm not trying to be sappy or be corny. I still have an edge and all of that. I just try to be inventive. So I think, to answer your question, the way that you can do it if you have something that feel may be off the beaten path, is that you have to be strategic and think of a way, how can I slip this thing on dudes where I don't take them too far left, but just enough that they can say "Oh, this is different but I still like it." And then you can start putting a little bit more on.
-- Q-Tip

And all the artists will come out and play. No Jesus juice.

P.S. -- Goin' on a three-hour award tour. Stay strapped.

If you grew up with holes in your zapatos, you'll celebrate the minute you was havin' dough.

Money Ain't A Thing

2005-09-07T11:18:00.000-04:00

I would not give $66 million to this man.

Mr. Governor, I swear there's a cover-up.

Reasonable Doubt

2005-09-06T18:42:00.000-04:00

They shootin' -- nobody dyin'
Somebody better put somebody body on somebody iron
Sometime soon or somebody lyin'

I ain't buyin' that shit y'all shovelin'.

Stop With That Childish Shit

2005-09-06T02:24:00.000-04:00

Nigga, I'm grown.

At what point do we reach when people start busting out the torches and pitch forks and storming the castle? Now I do not believe in violent revolution, I mean I grew up in the 60's: peace, love, the Beatles, you know. I do not believe in violence at all; however, when you stop and look at the situation here, I mean, Thomas Jefferson did tell us that the most important reason for the second amendment was for the people to allow themselves to be protected from the tyranny of government and you couple that with a bumper sticker I saw that changed my life shortly after Lennon’s assassination and it said, “Those who beat their guns into plows will plow for those who didn’t.” That really hit me between the eyes and I realize now at what point again do we break out the torches and the pitchforks. You can’t vote them out. We now know that the voting system is very seriously under question. We now know that we can no longer operate under Constitutional law.

I mean, it’s common knowledge that we work under uniform commercial code. We don’t have a Constitution anymore. You take that into the courtrooms and the judges laugh at you these days. So if you can’t vote them out, and they can’t be legislated out. What are we left with? We’re in a world of hurt in this country.
-- Dave vonKleist

I’m not sure why I’m harping on 9/11 right about now. Maybe I’m inspired by the fact that the US media is finally showing some backbone and hoping that they won’t resort to their gliddery mendacity before the emotion of these moments can be transformed into a genuine sense of outrage that can, hopefully, be harnessed into a movement. (I mean, am I the only one who has extremely little faith in whatever Katrinagate Commission this nation's elected officials come up with?) And when I say “movement,” I’m not referring to bowels or the DipSet. I’m talking about something built around meeting the needs of we, the people; something with an infrastructure that can carry on well after the smear campaigns, “suicides,” and black SUV’s take out the leaders. The only question is what will this movement be built upon?

History has shown that any movement not broad enough to encompass the common problems we face as human beings will fall short: movements based on gender may well rupture along the fault lines of race; movements based on sexual orientation are not immune to class struggle; religion is pretty useless, because I didn't see the Mighty White Christian Right running to save their dark-skinned brothers and sisters in the Lord down in N.O.; race cannot be seen as a unifying factor because some people may look like me but they not. Like. Me.

(You know something is amiss when Sean Penn and some random historian are able to do FEMA's job better than FEMA.)

Where does that leave us? At values. If we’re going to affect any change in this world, we have to galvanize around our core values. I’m not talking about arguing over the ratings of a Kanye West album or whether or not Little Brother are wack (which they are). I mean going deep into ourselves, examining our beliefs, our needs and wants, our hopes and dreams, goals and visions to have true knowledge of self before we can organize. This is what’s referred to as the Hero’s Journey, the only mission worth taking and blah, blah, blah, rah, rah, ray-ray. The truth of the matter is that is you don’t know your self, you can’t know anyone else, but, beyond that, you’re pretty much a waste of a human being.

But that’s really a whole other subject altogether. What lies in front of us is this. I’m not gonna front like I’m up on John Roberts’ politics, but I know that the US Commander-and-Thief likes him well enough to nominate him for the top judicial spot in the country and that’s enough to make me get on the phone with Hillary’s office and say, “As one of the people in your voting district, I’d like you to know that I expect you to grill the shit out of ol’ boy before he gets into office. And, because I know you don’t take phone calls or e-mail that seriously, I’ll also be dropping a handwritten letter in the mail. Today.”

Then I’m gonna holla at Major Owens and say, “As one of the people in your voting district, I’d like you to know that I expect you to vote against budget reconciliation if it allows for drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. Further, I expect you oppose Richard Pombo’s Endangered Species Act and support the Health Care Accountability Act, H.R. 3042 to put and end to the public subsidy of health care for large corporations because, frankly, I don’t think it’s right that Wal-Mart is getting over with $210 million of taxpayers’ money. Oh yeah, and, because I know you don’t take phone calls or e-mail that seriously, I’ll also be dropping a handwritten letter in the mail. Today.”

Then I’m gonna pay some bills and work on my nicotine addiction. After all, those New Orleans evacuees are doing so well in the land of sizzurp.

UPDATE: My faith in the ability of any Katringate probe to bring forth relevant answers just hit negative parameters. I gotta call Hillary again.

Let’s lock this down like it’s supposed to be.

Moment Of Clarity

2005-09-04T13:30:00.000-04:00

I don’t think I’m being hyperbolic when I say that this may prove to be one of the most pivotal moments of our generation. And by generation, I mean us thirtysomethings black, white, yellow, brown, gay, straight, queer, Muslim, Buddhist, Christian, atheist, agnostic. I say this moment is pivotal to our generation because: 1) it’s past time we spoke up and spoke out; 2) the younger of you—those not quite yet to be counted as men and women—probably have some time before it’s your turn to be on the frontlines.

Honestly, I can relate to the apathy of the younger generation. Back when television programming was pre-empted for Oliver North and Clarence Thomas hearings (’87 and ’91, respectively), the biggest deal to me was that, well, television was being pre-empted. I wasn’t feeling dudes taking off my cartoons, whatever they may have been at the time—Transformers? Voltron? Go-Bots? Who the fuck knows. Back then, I thought that hip-hop was, you know, something that could save us. Chuck and Kris had the answers, they would fight the fight. And right now, some of you younger folk are all too happy to abdicate responsibility and toss it to . . . Kanye West? Little Brother? Blackalicious? Who the fuck knows?

I don’t have that luxury anymore. Yesterday, I was talking to one of my friends from my college days—when we used to dress in all black, have political education meetings, reading Fanon, Seale, Jackson and Rodney and had an idealistic notion of changing the world by any means necessary—who basically said some shit that tossed me back a few. Quotha: “George Bush has done more for Black people than Bill Clinton ever did.” He railed on about No Child Left Behind and went on to say that what happened in New Orleans was “prophecy.” He told me to look the word up, said that I read the Bible and should know that this was “the hand of God.” God, he said, picked New Orleans because it was a spot known mainly for hedonism and debauchery. There was going to be some sort of convention there in the coming weeks, he opined, that would have had “100,000 gays going down there to do their evilness. I don’t think it’s a coincidence.”

Whoa. Now that's homophobia. And how anyone can have beef with the birthplace of Popeye's is beyond me.

I don’t know what turned this brother to the dark side. Far as I know, he was (and probably still is) a big-ass Primo fan. And, despite Kanye West’s outburst, he said he’d still be picking up the new album. In his eyes, the fact that the Louis Vuitton Don had been out of place in speaking against this country’s commander in chief meant nothing to his enjoyment of music.

Truthfully speaking, I long ago gave up on the idea that hip-hop could somehow galvanize political thought. This probably came around the time that the BSU (of which I was an integral member) called for a boycott of Dr. Dre’s The Chronic. For real, I defended Dre—Dee Barnes smack, “Bitches Ain’t Shit” and all. Like for real, for real. But, around that time, hip-hop began to get a pass from me. And it still does. I don’t expect rappers to be leaders. I don’t expect anybody to step up to the plate but me.

People that know me beyond a byline know that, despite what I tend to portray, I dig deep into the issues of our day. Problem is, I rarely put this out in public in a straightforward manner. I usually smack it up, flip it, rub it down, work to make motherfuckers think. I’ve never felt it was my place to tell you what to think; I just wanted to get you to think. I’m still gonna do that. But from here on in, I’m gonna start telling you all what I think. You don’t have to agree and I certainly don’t want you to take any of my statements as truth. I want you to come to your own conclusions—do your own research, find your own shit out. Bring something to the table. I'm the first to admit that I'm fallible and any insight that can be shared is greatly appreciated.

As I’ve stated, I believe that right now my generation (and this country) is at a very pivotal moment. The current commander-in-chief has proven to be a Teflon Don. Seriously, that motherfucker hijacked an election in broad daylight and took this country to war under the flimsiest pretenses. (How he hasn’t yet been strangled with his own entrails is beyond me.) Then there’s the Karl Rove scandal and—not to get all X-Files on you—the fact that I (and no one else whom I can think of, living or dead) have seen absolutely no evidence of the wreckage of the Boeing 757 that purportedly crashed into the Pentagon on the morning of September 11, 2001.

Of course, there’s a lot more that this administration has done that I don’t agree with, but I think that it’s pretty much public consensus that something was rotten in Denmark with the 2000 presidential elections, the (still ongoing) war in Iraq, Rovegate and 9/11. Not like I give a fuck what anyone thinks about me, but I really don’t think the history books are going to be kind to us on these fronts. We let this shit happen.

But here’s what we could be thinking about as we move forward:

1) The disaster in New Orleans is undoubtedly going to spur some non-partisan feelings in Congress, the whole “we are not Democrats, we are not Republicans, we are Americans” bullshit, which would be fine except for the fact that . . .

2) A supreme court justice just bit the big one. And not any old justice, but the head honcho. While our attentions and hearts are with the people in the Gulf Coast, we should also pay close attention to who George W. Bush nominates for the vacancy, as well as who he wants to push in the top slot. If you’re not sure as to what the Supreme Court has come to be and the type of power these judges hold, please, do your research. I think it is imperative that we hold our elective officials responsible for making sure that the replacement represents the best interests of the majority of the people in this country, not just the elite or right-wing conservatives. Please do not lose sight of this battle. The lines will be drawn in the coming weeks. Please. Do. Not. Lose. Sight.

3) Two versions of the Patriot Act will come for a vote before Congress in the coming weeks. The House version is poised to permanently grant the government the power to subpoena Americans’ library records and medical records, and to track our mail without probable cause or judicial review. This will change this country in a way that, quite frankly, scares the shit out of me. Take some time to knowledge yourself before it’s too late. Liberty is hardly ever taken away in one fell swoop. Motherfuckers chip away at it, bit by bit.

4) The Bush Administration has not been able to get outright permission to drill for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. So what did it do? It added a provision in its budget that will allow for the drilling to take place. This budget goes before Congress very, very soon. We’re talking days, not weeks. I don’t mean to sound like an alarmist, but the truth is that I believe that drilling in the Arctic is not a good thing. The research I’ve done indicates that there’s (maybe) enough oil there to support the US for five years. But the damage to this planet would be irreversible.

If I had it in me to be more articulate, witty or informative right now, I would. But I don’t. This is what you get.

I’ll work to do better. I may not rock all black anymore, but I still have an idealistic notion of changing the world.

So, next time you see the homey and his rims spin, just know my mind is working just like them.

You Gotta Love It: Somebody Still Speak From They Soul

2005-09-04T02:20:00.000-04:00

Breaking the fourth wall:

Celine Dion talking with her heart. You. Fuckin'. Go. Girl.

Anderson Cooper and them, not playing the fifth column.

Andy C can't stop, won't stop.

Geraldo Rivera and Shepard Smith, got your perspective right fuckin' here.

Ray Nagin, on his Wendy's shit.

And, of course, this guy, throws a tantrum like he is three years old.

P.S. -- Sad thing is that, within five weeks (most likely less), some crack rapper is gonna talk about "flooding the block like New Orleans."

And my interviews are hotter.

Breathin's A Privilege

2005-09-04T00:02:00.000-04:00

Fuck. We got a whole lot more fighting to do.

I ain't bein' aggressive, but, if you testin' my life, then, shit, I gotta answer.

2005-09-03T15:29:00.000-04:00

Like all Americans, I was horrified watching pictures of the destruction wrought by the hurricane. And like others who share the name Katrina, I found it eerie hearing and reading my name all over the news. But when Fox started calling the storm Killer Katrina, I prayed some right-wing idiot wouldn't stoop so low as to link me to this human suffering. But wouldn't you know, the biggest dittohead on the block, Rush Limbaugh, is calling the storm Hurricane Katrina vanden Heuvel. National Review's Jonah Goldberg, who has never seen a bad-joke bandwagon he could resist jumping on with both feet, blogged, "It would be pretty cool if Fox played to caricature and repeatedly referred to the hurricane as Katrina vanden Heuvel." He went on to imagine the lines, "The destruction from Katrina vanden Heuvel is expected to be massive. The poor and disabled are particularly likely to suffer from the effects of Katrina vanden Heuvel."

This is how they show respect for those who are suffering and dying--with lame quips? At least Limbaugh has the excuse that drug abuse tends to stunt emotional development. What Goldberg's problem is nobody has yet discovered. Natural disasters should be above infantile politics. (George W. Bush's decision to send his father and Bill Clinton to organize aid for the tsunami was one of his few international PR successes since 9/11.) It's so easy to take cheap shots. (Did you hear the one about OxyContin's new tag line? "What a Rush!") We should be asking serious questions about why the Iraq War has led the White House to divert funds from an urgent project to upgrade levees and pumping stations in Louisiana, and why there aren't enough National Guard troops on hand in what is one of the worst natural disasters in US history. It is not a time for personal attacks. Let's empathize with those who are suffering and think about how we can help them.

-- Katrina vanden Heuvel

Not Out Of Fear, But Love

2005-09-02T16:58:00.000-04:00

I have enough trouble overcoming my own limitations without fretting over the fact that God has not seen fit to distribute evenly the gift of intelligence.

--John Wanamaker

I think I'm goin' over ya head a little bit.

Somebody Tell God That We Got A Couple Questions Here

2005-09-02T15:08:00.000-04:00

Suffering is always the result of an error in thinking. It is an indication of being out of harmony with the laws of the universe. The only purpose behind the existence of suffering is to show a person when a thought is in error and alert them of the existence of a higher thought that would serve them better. Suffering stops as soon as that higher way is found, that higher thought. In the presence of suffering, try not to resist. Instead, examine with an open mind, and the answer will always show itself to you without fail.

--David Cameron Gikandi

Tryin' to take they mind to a whole different level here.

Racism Still Alive

2005-09-02T02:25:00.001-04:00

They just concealin' it.

Loiusiana, Loiusiana, they're trying to wash us away.

Loiusiana, Loiusiana, they're trying to wash us away.

Loiusiana, Loiusiana, they're trying to wash us away.

Loiusiana, Loiusiana, they're trying to wash us away.

Loiusiana, Loiusiana, they're trying to wash us away.

Loiusiana, Loiusiana, they're trying to wash us away.

I see right through you, Judas.

2005-09-01T21:26:00.000-04:00

Allow Me To Retort

2005-08-31T17:03:00.000-04:00

What good is the Rid without the comb?

I've already said it, but I guess it needs to be said again.

It's like this, little boy: Your delusions of grandeur are not even annoying, let alone upsetting. You don't know me well enough to question my levels of sincerity, and your stating otherwise just shows how underdeveloped your mind truly is. But you do know well enough that I don't care. Your whole style is fake. So I won't even address you anymore. If I happen to bump into you at one of these little industry book-signing panels that I hardly ever attend, we'll deal with it however it needs to be dealt with. But, for everyone else . . .

When the chips fell down, the little boy holla'd at me asking for an apology. I was like, "For what? You did you, I did me. Period." He tried to clarify: "I think you have some assumptions about what I'm trying to do with my career, yadda, yadda, ya, rah, rah, ray-ray and a blahzay blah." I was like, "If that's what you're trying to do with your career, you're going about it wrong. Writing one-sentence barbs is not criticism." I pointed out that he wrote some shit about the book, which, basically served no purpose--it wasn't making me a better writer; it wasn't informing anyone who read the piece. I also pointed out that, having made my money off the book, understanding that all publicity is good publicity (NYT Bestseller list first week out -- thank you), and the fact that it's not my book, but 50's, means that my level of emotional attachment to it is not the same as if it were actually my book. [Shameless plugs: How To Draw Hip-Hop and Strapped For Cash, coming sooner than you think.] But, all that aside, I appreciate any and everyone who's ever given me constructive feedback about anything I write. His shit? Well, it was just--to use one of his words--"salty." That was about the gist of that exchange. This was not by any means a long part of the conversation and I've only covered it here to clear the lies.

Honestly, I'm embarrassed to be part of this whole thing. And I really, really have much better things to do with my time. For real. I have deadlines for real projects, friends and family to be with, bars to go to, hearts to break--all that type of shit. But there is a train of thought that has been floating around blogville that the boy touched upon with his post. He'd probably call it a "meme," but he'd be wrong, because, well, that's just not the definition of the word meme.

At any rate, let me address the blogger/journalist thing from my humble point of view:

I don't consider myself a journalist. Never have. And I've stated this publicly time and time again. I don't have journalistic training, nor do I hold myself to whatever ideals journalists supposedly hold themselves to. If I did, marriages would end and there'd be more hip-hop beefs than a little bit because, frankly, some of these rappers are wild boys, they say some wild shit, do some wild things. And besides, I've fucked up many times in my quest to be a professional. You can read all about it here.

I'm a writer. I write. Everyday. In notebooks, on the computer, on the backs of press releases, on envelopes, on napkins, on receipts; at bars, in cabs, at home, at clubs; in the middle of the night, in the morning, after having sex, when I'm angry, when I'm confused, when I'm feeling clear-minded. You can get it twisted, because you have free will and it's your right to think whatever it is that you want to think. But, truth is, I write because it's what I do. It gives my thoughts definition and space the same way that cleaning your crib clears your mind or balancing your checkbook lets you know if you can afford a new pair of kicks. For me, blogging is just an extension of all that; it allows me to experiment with voice, texture, emotion, style, wordplay, imagery and so forth. I don't need the hits, the comments or the linkage. If I did, I wouldn't be keeping a bunch of blogs that no one knows about. I won't say that I don't enjoy the community it offers, because I do. I've met some good people through this medium. Hell, I'm on one dude's blog now. Motherfucker lives in Sweden. But me and him, we cool. Shit like that happens with less frequency out in the real world.

Now, as for whether bloggers want to be journalists or journalists want to be bloggers, I guess each individual would have to answer that for themselves. Yet, I will say this: for the most part, when you pick up a magazine or newspaper, there's some sort of guarantee that you'll get a certain caliber of writing. There's a slew of editors who have to be accountable for the quality of the publication, another gang of people responsible for the dollars that the magazine spends and, usually, a managing editor that bridges these two worlds. Of course, there are going to be differences in budget, staff size and quality of writing as you explore different publications, but that's pretty much the template. Basically, print rags have keepers at the gate. These keepers have a lot of control over what is read by the reader. And, depending upon the individuals involved, the process can be an aid or a hindrance to quality reading and writing. But, by-and-large, it means that you have some idea of what you're getting before you sit down to read.

I'd be fraudulent if I didn't say that I've learned a lot from many great editors. They've definitely made me a stronger writer. I've argued with them, hated them, called them all types of idiots (most times to their faces), but I've been blessed by these men and women and I am thankful to have learned from the constraints which they placed upon me as a writer. Without a doubt, there are pros and cons to writing hundred-word album reviews. One of the cons is that they're limited in their ability to inform the reader as to whether or not the joint in question is worth 15 bucks. But one of the indispensable pros is that they teach the writer to make every word count. At this point, I can write 100, 350, 500, 800, 1500, 2000 and 3000 words in my head, without a pen--paragraph breaks, quotes, transitions and everything. Of course, I still have to sit down and fine tune with the pen and paper, or keyboard and screen, but I can get a pretty decent first draft done before I ever hit my brick and mortar tools. The reason being, the aforementioned are very common word counts in the game, and if you are forced to turn in copy at those lengths for over a decade, I'm sure that you'll mentally know what they feel like as well.

I'm not perfect, though. I usually come in over. Most editors will allow you a 5-10% overage that they can squeeze in. I tend to come in around 15-20%. Then we gotsa get to cutting. That shit hurts. Sometimes it damages the piece, sometimes it makes it tighter. But when I see it in print, it's always--always--different from the last thing I saw. Why? The art/design guy who can't (or refuses to) shrink a picture or fuss with his layout, the copy editor who misunderstood a bit of slang or a reference, the legal department that thinks that something may be libel. Shit happens. You get used to it.

With blogs, there's none of this give and take. Once again, pros and cons. Pro is that you can get unfiltered, unadulterated writing. Con is that it may not be any good. Seriously, some of these dudes lack original thought and they're devoid of any style when saying something we've all heard a million times before. This would never happen at any good magazine because a competent editor will tell you that you're not bringing anything to the table and send you back to the blank page or, at the very least, help you find something new to say that hasn't been said. Of course it doesn't work out this way 10 times out of 10, and you may wind up reading the same piece more than once. Still, most editors try to make sure that there is some new observation, some new understanding, some new bit of information involved. Even if the revelation isn't novel to you, a proper editor will aspire to make sure it's something that will be fresh to at least the majority of the publication's readers. Better bloggers will do the same for themselves--they'll self-censor in order to ensure that they are advancing a conversation. But too many bloggers just want to be heard, regardless of the discussion that has taken place before. It's their turn to speak and that's all that's on their mind. As far as I'm concerned, these types will remain worthless until they step their game up.

Another thing is that the overwhelmingly vast majority of blogs lack primary sources. The authors are simply picking over other people's research and commenting on that. They don't go out and find the news stories, interview the politicians, build with the artists or talk to the victims of crimes. They just play peanut gallery to someone else's findings. This is fine when the peanut gallery has something of interest to say, but when they don't, well, then no one is there to tell them to stop. They just post away. Sometimes this results in getting put on to new artists, debunking media/government lies, exposing plants in the White House press corps and much more. More often, however, what happens is that people who can't gain an audience in their own livingrooms attempt to pose as experts on a subject and, unfortunately, some unwitting souls will follow along.

I think you have to take the good with the bad and use your discernment. There are engaging writers, people and thinkers in all forms of media; but there are also a bunch of dim nitwits. It's just a microcosm of real life. The same rules apply. You have to know what works for you and be careful whom you follow.

Ed. Note: In its furthest definition, I may be wrong on the "meme" thing. But, I'm cool with being wrong. Shit happens.

P.S.-- This a bit under 1800 words. Just like I thought.

If you can't respect that, your whole perspective is wack.

Meditating Like A Buddhist, Pt. 2

2005-08-30T20:21:00.000-04:00

Buddhists generally don't pay much attention to Gautama Buddha, the present Buddha. Somehow we take it for granted that somebody did this thing, [attained enlightenment]. . . we are not particularly concerned with who did it and what kind of life style that particular person had. I'm not particularly suggesting that there should be hero worship, but there should be some kind of identifying and humanizing of Buddhism. Some particular person took this particular journey. Someone actually did it. So it is very powerful and very important to identify with the Buddha, particularly the. . . Buddha who lived, who actually walked on our earth, who slept and snored, who shared food with others, and who actually does exist. It's different from the Superman story. Somebody, 2,500 years ago lived in the same area as we do—on this particular earth. Somebody did something and we are trying to follow his example. The impact has gone on continuously for 2,500 years, and it is going stronger. It's fantastic, enormous.

—Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche

They say, "They never really miss you 'til you dead or you gone."

You Sayin' My Name To Entertain Your Crew (Make My Name Taste Like Ass When You Speak It)

2005-08-30T09:38:00.000-04:00

I got a good groove and I ain't tyin' to fuck my thing up. . .

Yeah, yeah, homey, I see you tryna to get a rise out of somebody, out of anybody. And, yeah, I caught you (once again) going through my garbage for new ideas. And, no, I didn't stop. I'm still right here (you know this, let's not try to pretend that you don't). I can't speak for anyone else, but me, I do this because, well, this is what I do. I don't need the fame, the adulation, the respect or the platform—I been had it; it's how you know my name, remember? And it's how you know what I do every month because, well, you follow my career harder than I do.

And yeah, I get paid for this word-flipping shit. Seriously. I owe more in taxes than your year-to-date. (Ask Marry Hannah at the Department of Treasury.) You don't know my expenses, child—I have to buy a bigger place. Why you all aggie?

You see, I know all about that kill the father bullshit, meeting the Buddha by the side of the road and blah, blah, blah, ray-ray. And I know that there are those amongst my ilk that are, indeed, on some Walter Mitty shit. But me? Ask some of those part-time haters trying to put you up on my latest: I been carrying more rumors than 10 Mariah Careys, as well as more guns than roses. I ain't shakin' in my boots for none of your invisible bullies. Like the Gooch. Vamoose, child. You're oh-so wack to me.

P.S.—I guaruntee I'll see more ducats from blogging than you can ever hope to. Ask around.

I got a brand new bitch: Corporate America—she showin' me a lot of action right now.

Meditating Like A Buddhist

2005-08-30T08:09:00.000-04:00

It's very moving to know that somebody in the past became Buddha. Twenty-five hundred years ago a guy called Siddhartha became Buddha. He actually did those things and made an enormous impact and impression on people—so enormous that we still continue to follow his way and share his ideas. It's very powerful that somebody actually achieved enlightenment and went so far as to proclaim it, and to teach, and to share his life of 80 years with his students. He spoke; he taught; and he showed us how to behave, how to handle ourselves with other people. It's an extremely powerful experience. Enlightenment is no longer a myth or concept, but something that actually did take place. It did happen—I think that is the basis of our conviction.

—Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche

They say, "They never really miss you 'til you dead or you gone."

Do Us Both A Favor, My Wigga . . .

2005-08-26T12:46:00.000-04:00

And don't compare us.

I'm AmeriKKKa's worst nightmare:
I'm young, Black and holdin' my nuts like, "Cheeah"
Wish I was in the pub, havin' a lite beer
I was at the club, havin' a fight there
Ya could go home -- husband and wife there
My momma at work, tryin' to buy me the right gear
Nine years old, uncle lost his life here
I grew up thinkin' life ain't fair
How can I get a real job? China White right there
Right in front of my sight like, "Here
Yeah, there's your ticket out the ghetto
Take flight right here
Sell me, you go, 'Bye-bye here'"
Damned, there's a different set of rules we abide by here
You need a gun, niggas might drive-by here
Ya havin fun, racin' all your hot-rods there
Downloadin' all our music on your iPods there
I'm Chuck D, standin' in the crosshairs here
Y'all straight, chicks got horse hair here
Y'all ain't gotta be in fear of your bosses there
Ya lose ya jobs, ya pop rich -- ya don't care
So I don't care
Y'all actin' like ya don't hear
All the screams from the ghetto
All the teens duckin' metal here . . .

Y'all must really be in heaven there.

Crazy In Love

2005-08-24T11:11:00.000-04:00

This don't go well with those S-Dots.

Because no one else is saying it: "Jayoncé."

Or (for the feminists): "Beyonjay."

White folk shouldn't be the only ones allowed to do it.

Got the hottest chick in the game wearing my chain.

Not Enough Shots Away From Stray Shells

2005-08-24T10:56:00.000-04:00

Damned. I was just with him yesterday.

Last week in the UK.

This week in the US.

Seriously, guns are bullshit. Their creation has been no less a Pandora's Box than the A-bomb. Many of us who carry firearms (legally and illegally) view them as the great equalizer, much as Iran and North Korea (and, for that matter, India, Pakistan, Argentina and Brazil) view the pursuit of nuclear power. After all, if the police—whom history has shown time and time again as abusers of power—have them, and the United States—acting as the world's police—is more than willing to pre-emptively wield its big stick, is everyone else supposed to stand around and get punked? Or are we all supposed to become super black belts in Aikido, Jiu-Jitsu, Krav Maga or some other form of martial arts which may or may not be effective against a .38 slug?

Seriously? Guns are bullshit. The ability to take a life proves nothing more than that your ablility to live your life as a murderer (or maybe a killer, if you feel it was in self-defense and, therefore, not murder). Peeling the fat out of someone's head has nothing to do with manhood or skill. It's not even like the Wild West when there was some sort of acumen involved: take ten paces and draw; may the quickest man win. And dudes certainly aren't saying, "Let's go to the range and see who's the better marksman," or "We should have a contest to see who can dismantle and re-assemble their gat the quickest." No. It's as Jim Jones so eloquently puts it: If a nigga piss me off, I'm goin' straight to the pistols/Shit, then we can make it official/ Next time you see your momma be your wake when she kiss you.

Seriously, that's some bullshit.

And it's some real bullshit that it seems as if the US news orgs are too ready to blow over the revelations in the de Menezes killing, lest this country's overzealous anti-terrorist tactics come into question. But this is what happens when the news media and the arms makers are the same company. Conflict of interest? Maybe?

I'm not advocating a Platonic ideal of pacifism here, because it doesn't exist in nature. If my immune system was pacifist, I'd have died the first time I caught a cold or whatever infection latched itself onto my body. So, yeah, keep the piece like a Buddhist. Conflict of interest? Maybe.

We call the cops the A-Team -- 'cause they hop out of vans and spray things.

When You Play With Skills, Good Luck'll Happen

2005-08-20T17:39:00.000-04:00

Doors to these people are usually firmly closed and it takes a lot of banging to even get them to creak open a little bit. Also you never know who is going to like what. A good attorney and team you trust is a must as well. Don’t give up, because even now at this level I still get frequently discouraged. Also you never want to sit back and think you are bigger than you are because there’s always room to grow. Hustle Harder!

--Disco D

You get return on your investment, if attention you pay.

Why Would I Ever Care?

2005-08-20T13:19:00.000-04:00

She'll make it up in summer school.

I'm too sexy for my book.

I'm like, At this rate, ma, you'll never graduate.

I Will Not Lose

2005-08-20T05:18:00.000-04:00

Ally – Someone who confronts heterosexism, homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, heterosexual and genderstraight privilege in themselves and others; a concern for the well-being of lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, and intersex people; and a belief that heterosexism, homophobia, biphobia and transphobia are social justice issues.

--from LGBTQI Terminology

For even in defeat, there's a valuable lesson learned, so it evens it up for me.

God Forgive Me For My Brash Delivery

2005-08-19T20:31:00.000-04:00

Now, once upon a time, not too long ago, a nigga like myself had to strongarm a hoe.

On Aug 17, 2005, at 5:07 PM, NH wrote:

Keep mulling over the part of our conversation about the usage of language as a means to subjugate or demean. When straight men are ridiculed as gay, it implies that they are inferior in some way. Not a man. Not quite there.

(So not the case with the gay men that I know and adore.)

This is not a critique of your writing, nor the motivations behind your posts to address the cowardly and distasteful way that said parties have slandered your name and your body of work. Merely to say that your written response, with the intent to defend yourself, seems to include asserting your masculinity by feminizing or sexualizing other men.

Political correctness aside, you are more than clever enough to craft an argument that posits that emotional insecurities lead to impulsive epithets designed to establish a fleeting sense of control.

What do you think?

I think I should apologize to the women and members of the LGBTQI community who I may have disrespected. So. . . Sorry.

I think that I should have taken the time to clarify that I was speaking metaphorically. I was attemtpting to draw a parallel between homey's repeated attempts to garner attention from me to and the mannerisms of a schoolboy who pulls on a girl's hair beause he really likes her but lacks the courage to express his admiration. I mean a guy attracted to another guy is gay (or maybe bi), no?

I think it's unfortuante that my approach allowed the child to hide behind my residual homophobia (I ain't even gonna try to front like my understanding and/or comfort level with male homosexualtiy is at 100% -- maybe 80-85%.) and suckle at the teat of the feminist crew as opposed to dealing with what he knows the true issues to be. Dude knows well and good it's about his constant, misguided moves to engage me in conversation. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not so umbrageous as to take offense to anything written about me (much less my work). I mean, hell, much worse has been written and said. And a lot of it is right there on Google for anyone to see.

I think it's also unfortunate that a third player came into the game in the 9th inning, further allowing homey to obfuscate what the whole situation is really about. I also think it's fucked up that I let myself be blind-sided and caught out there by the third player. But shit happens. You win some, you lose some. No one bats 1.000.

But, most importantly, I think it's fucked up that I was insensitive to you and others like you. If anything, I was dissing you by equating the boy's twaddle with the real things you deal with everyday. Sorry.

This is not a hoe in the sense of havin' a pussy, but a pussy havin' no goddamned sense -- tryna push me.

Picture Me Lettin’ These Clown Nitpick At Me

2005-08-19T19:43:00.000-04:00

All men in my view are like volcanoes. The mass accumulates but nothing is transformed on the surface. A man asks himself: Will my life always be like this? In a given moment the process of eruption begins. If he is intelligent, this man will allow the lava in the interior to flow out and change the scenery of his surroundings; if he is not, he will use all his energy in trying to keep the volcano under control. I have been pragmatic enough to understand that at certain moments in my life, it is necessary to withstand the pain caused by the explosion in order to enjoy the new scenery around me. There are many opinions as to why humanity is always searching for its own ethics. A friend of mine sent me a story once about a man who used to tell his granddaughter about two animals that used to inhabit his soul: a dog that protected it and a wolf that would devour anything it could find. The granddaughter then asked him which one of the two was the strongest, to which the man answered that the strongest one is always the one I feed the most, depending upon the circumstances. The central ideology of the human race, from the beginning of time, is this: respect your neighbor.

-- Paulo Coelho

Had to play with fire and get burned -- only way the boy ever gon’ learn.

Smooth But Deadly -- Like A Pearl Handle Pistol

2005-08-17T05:54:00.000-04:00

Now,
Weapons are instruments of evil omen;
Creation abhors them.
Therefore,
One who aspires to the Way
does not abide in them.

The superior man
at home honors the left,
on the battlefield honors the right.
Therefore,
Weapons are not instruments of the superior man;
Weapons are the instruments of evil omen,
to be used only when there is no other choice

He places placidity above all
and refuses to prettify weapons;
If one prettifies weapons,
this is to delight in the killing of others.

-- Lao Tzu

And you put dresses on your weapons when you walk out the door.

Even If It Ain't Sunny -- Hey, I Ain't Complainin'

2005-08-17T05:28:00.000-04:00

Even when called out
By a single foe,
Remain on guard,
For you are always surrounded
By a host of enemies

--Morihei Ueshiba

It's funny how one verse can fuck up the game.

Knives To A Fist-fight

2005-08-17T05:14:00.000-04:00

Military formation is like water -- the form of water is to avoid the high and go to the low, the form of a military force is to avoid the full and attack the empty; the flow of water is determined by the earth, the victory of a military force is determined by the opponent.

So a military force has no constant formation, water has no constant shape: the ability to gain victory by changing and adapting accordingly to the opponent is called genius.

-- Sun Tzu

Hey, little soldier: You ain't ready for war.

The Gift & The Curse

2005-08-17T04:59:00.000-04:00

Statutes 2000 by Paulo Coelho

1] All men are different. And should do everything possible to continue to be so.

2] Each human being has been granted two courses of action: that of deed and that of contemplation. Both lead to the same place.

3] Each human being has been granted two qualities: power and gift. Power drives man to meet his destiny, his gift obliges him to share with others that which is good in him. A man must know when to use his power, and when to use his gift.

4] Each human being has been granted a virtue: the capacity to choose. For he who does not use this virtue, it becomes a curse and others will always choose for him.

5] Each human being has the right to two blessings, which are: the blessing to do right, and the blessing to err. In the latter case, there is always a path of learning leading to the right way.

6] Each human being has his own sexual profile, and should exercise it without guilt provided he does not oblige others to exercise it with him.

7] Each human being has his own Personal Legend to be fulfilled, and this is the reason he is in the world. The Personal Legend is manifest in his enthusiasm for what he does.

—the Personal Legend may be abandoned for a certain time, provided one does not forget it and returns as soon as possible.

8] Each man has a feminine side, and each woman has a masculine side. It is necessary to use discipline with intuition, and to use intuition objectively.

9] Each human being must know two languages: the language of society and the language of the omens. The first serves for communication with others. The second serves to interpret messages from God.

10] Each human being has the right to seek out joy, joy being understood as something which makes one content not necessarily that which makes others content.

11] Each human being must keep alight within him the sacred flame of madness. And must behave like a normal person.

12] The only faults considered grave are the following: not respecting the rights of one’s neighbor, letting oneself be paralyzed by fear, feeling guilty, thinking one does not deserve the good and bad which occurs in life, and being a coward.

—we shall love our enemies, but not make alliances with them. They are placed in our way to test our sword, and deserve the respect of our fight.

—we shall choose our enemies, not the other way around.

13] All religions lead to the same God, and all deserve the same respect.

A man who chooses a religion is also choosing a collective manner of adoration and of sharing the mysteries. Nevertheless, he alone is responsible for his actions along the Way, and he has no right to transfer to religion the responsibility for his steps and his decisions.

14] We hereby declare the end to the wall dividing the sacred from the profane: from now on, all is sacred.

15] Everything which is done in the present, affects the future by consequence, and the past by redemption.

15-5] Dispensations to the contrary are herewith revoked.

These are the rules I follow in my life -- you gotta love it.

I'll Show You How 2 Do This

2005-08-16T16:12:00.000-04:00

Let me guess: They said there was money 'round here and the rest is me stopping you from gettin' it -- correct? Sorry to hear that.

Believe you me, sun -- I hate to do it, just as bad as you hate to see it done.

I'm A Business, Man

2005-08-16T16:01:00.000-04:00

I'll tell you a difference between me and them: They trying to get they ones, I'm trying to get them M's.

I smarten up -- open the market up.

A CEO's Mind

2005-08-16T15:49:00.000-04:00

That marketing plan was me.

On the low: Half of these rappin'-ass niggas wanna work for me.

You Can Feel My Words Now Or Read About 'Em Later

2005-08-16T15:08:00.000-04:00

Now I know exactly how it feel to be a Laker.

You don't even know me and you mad -- how it feel to be a hater?

Get Off My Dick Cheney And Tell Your Bush To Come Here

2005-08-16T05:32:00.000-04:00

I had it laid out before you knew what a plan was.

Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them, "Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand. If Satan drives out Satan, he is divided against himself. How then can his kingdom stand? And if I drive out demons by Beelzebub, by whom do your people drive them out? So then, they will be your judges. But if I drive out demons by the Spirit of God, then the kingdom of God has come upon you.

"Or again, how can anyone enter a strong man's house and carry off his possessions unless he first ties up the strong man? Then he can rob his house.

"He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me scatters. And so I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. Anyone who speaks a word against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or the age to come.

". . . But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned."

--Matthew 12:22--32; 36--37

Don't be the next contestant on that Summer Jam screen.